When to start mediation?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
When to start mediation?
2
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 8:55am
Hi ladies,
When are we supposed to start mediation? STBX has moved out (last week) and we are telling our 5 yr old this coming weekend. I think we will be able to do things amicably, sell the house, pay the bills and divide the assets. And then we need to work out our co-parenting schedule, which I am totally lost on. I am sure once all that gets going it might not be so easy to be nice, but we will do our best. I go back and forth from sadness, devastation, anger ect. STBX is leaving me completely out of the blue after 14yrs (married 8) and there is another woman. Anyways, any help would be appreciated!
Thanks,
ADanah
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 6:22pm

Hi Adanah...


That depends..... some states don't require mediation at all.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Sat, 04-14-2007 - 8:13pm

I am so sorry about your situation. Devastating it is and those feelings have just begun. I have a 5 yo and a 6 yo, so I understand.

I would find a lawyer, pronto, before considering mediation. Collect all financial and legal documents you can. Sit down and tell your attorney what you want and get your attorney's advice on what is realistic.

We met with a child psychologist with expertise in divorce to draft a parenting plan. She was used to working with the mediator we ultimately chose.

So, it can go smoothly, but that won't save you or your child from tremendous pain. Get help from a counselor and maybe a support group as well as friends and family, for that. We even learned about children's support groups for kids as young as 5!

I can't say our process has gone well, but that is mostly because my stbx is inconsistent and doesn't follow-through. It has been quite unpleasant and probably will continue to be so since he has some unreasonable ideas/plans.

I hope your situation can resolve more easily, but I am so sorry for you pain!

M