He took a pass

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
He took a pass
5
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 4:03pm
I was supposed to have my divorce finalized today. It was to be uncontested. Then my STBX told the my attorney he would "Take a pass on getting divorced today." I went through so much to get to that courtroom, from being thrown out of my own house so he could move his girlfriend in to paying child support for my children who have been living with me the whole time because he lied to a case worker so he could get Medicaid and food stamps. And now I feel like I've been shoved back to start when I was an inch from the finish line.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Mon, 04-09-2007 - 7:39pm
That really sucks. Hang in there, he can't pass forever.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Tue, 04-10-2007 - 5:33pm
And then he wanted me to work around his work schedule with visitation for the boys after he sat in the courtroom and said on record that he was unemployed. I am no longer even speaking to him I am so angry. It makes for a lot of phone tag with attorneys, but is worth it for my own serinity.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 8:41pm

That's just crappy!


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-09-2007
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 7:47pm
I don't know if he will ever cooperate. It all comes down to child support. He doesn't want to pay it, (always telling me how the amount of child support is the same amount as his rent) so he's gunning for full custody. It can't be because he wants the kids, his mother picks them up and keeps them during what should be his visitation time, (she says so they don't lose touch with that side of the family, which I admit they would as I just can't bring myself to go around them right now.) and the boys try to call him and he won't even speak to them for five minutes before he says "Daddy's busy I'll call you later." (He doesn't.) But then he tells me the boys should live with him cause boys need a father more than a mother. And don't get me started on the rest of his reasoning. My family are most of them poor and most of them alcoholics. Therefore I present a danger to my children. I am not. Never touch alcohol I'm not stupid and know how easy it would be for it to take over my life. And living in poverty has taught me some lessons about money and the importance of education that he would be far better off for having learned. Anyway he thinks the judge (who will be deciding custody now that we can no longer agree) will consider him a better choice because his family have money and his father is a minister. Again, that is his family, not him. So I'm confident things will fall my way I'm just looking at a long, frustrating wait.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2007
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 10:53pm

Keep your chin up. Is there a guardian ad litem assigned for the case? If not, perhaps there should be. The attorneys and the judges see a lot of this. They know how to spot the ones who are only fighting for their kids, etc for the child support (so they don't have to pay it). You will make it through it. Yes, it is tough, but you CAN do it. One step at a time, one day at a time.

Good luck,
Becka