thoughts/

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-12-2007
thoughts/
3
Sun, 04-15-2007 - 10:32pm

discussion title: whats your thoughts
emoticon:
message #: x.1
from: verysadtoday
date: 10:28 pm

my husband left 1 week ago and I am devistated. My husband located me on line Friday night. We chit chated back and forth. I didn't do any begging or anything. He said that he looked for me earlier but I wasn't on and what did I do all day. So, this is where I blew it....I asked him when he was planning to get some more of his stuff (errrr)he said next week while I was at work so it would be easier on both of us. I asked about lawyers and he didn't know why we needed any. He says they just create anger and stuff. So later in the IM conversation he asks me if I wanted to play an on line game. So we do for about 45 minutes. We were still chatting and joking around. Thank goodness he couldn't see that I was in tears. I have done a lot of reading...so I say, I hope we can be still be friends after all of this and that we were probably meant to be friends instead of married. He says,y do you say that? I don't respond. Then we chat about nothing for a few minutes. Now back up a few days, in one of my begging letters that I e mailed him, I ended by saying hell we might even bump into each other in Vegas and fall in love all over again and start over. I could still slap myself for that letter. So back to last night, we end the converstation and he says goodnight "Cookie" (pet name) and says....maybe we will bump into each other Vegas sometime and start over. Why the mixed messages??????? I walk away from the computer. he signs off, then back on and im's me again about 5 minutes later and says r u there? waits a few minutes, then says, OK then....have a good night.

Am I getting my hopes up over nothing? I have made no contact today and I believe he went camping

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
In reply to: verysadtoday
Mon, 04-16-2007 - 2:22pm

He doesn't sound serious about anything... I'd move forward and see what he does.... that's serious! if he wants to work it out someday... and maybe backing all the way up is the way to do that (and sometimes after you're backed all the way up, you realize why it won't work out some day).


As far as his comments about lawyers, well.... I beg to differ.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
In reply to: verysadtoday
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 7:10am

Hi there,

Interesting how he is keeping in contact with you, saying you don't need an attorney while some of his belongings are in your possession. Be careful, get an attorney and find out now who gets what. Also, he doesn't need to be in your house while you are gone. If he wants to pick some of his stuff up, have a friend or relative meet him there. He moved out, it's not his place anymore. Be tactful about it, but you don't need any surprises.

Hang in there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2003
In reply to: verysadtoday
Tue, 04-17-2007 - 5:02pm

The messages aren't that mixed up... he is just trying to keep a foot in each shoe, and doesn't even know about it.

Walking away is painful, just as staying behind is. One always second guesses decisions, moments, letters, mails... after years together, you know each other very well - and it says only good things about both that you are in friendly terms - enough to have a friendly chat together... yes, you were in tears - probably he was too. Is that a sign? probably not - and the only way to know, is to watch what will happen.

Remember, even a divorce isn't final. Go ahead, and talk to a lawyer (yes, you need one, at least as advice). See what are your rights, then if you can get an agreement together. You can always back off at the last minute, or why not? meet in Vegas.

and... stop being sad... hugs to you.