DDS and Ex's Family?
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| Tue, 04-17-2007 - 11:02am |
Hi! It's been quite a while since I posted here! I posted this question on the Single Moms board and I keep getting responses from people who don't seem to understand my question so I thought I'd try here.
My ex is a complete jerk! I bet nobody else feels that way, huh? LOL! I have not spoken to anyone in his family in well over a year and I'd rather keep it that way. My 2 dds, ages 3 and 6, see them regularly and love them very much. And that's okay, that's how it should be.
The problem is my dds are always asking me questions like "Why don't you ever come with us to Mimi and Grandfather's house?" or "Why can't our cousins come spend the night with us? Can't you call Aunt Beth and ask? Why can't Uncle Ward come over and see our pony?"
I have no idea how to explain to them why I don't talk to Daddy's side of the family. I can't just say I hate their guts! LOL! Can anybody help me?

Well, when my 4 year old asks me this I just tell him the truth. I explain to him that when Mommy and Daddy separate, Mommy arranges get togethers with Grandma & Grandpa and those cousins and Daddy arranges visits with Grandma & Pappa and those cousins. I tell them that they need to tell their Dad if they want to see those cousins and tell me if they want to see my side of the family.
I don't know how close your kids are to the cousins on their dad's side, but you could suggest that in the future maybe those cousins will be able to come over too, but right now that's not possible. I should hope that at some point in the future both sides will be able to accommodate that, but I guess it's not possible in all situations.
I don't know if this is at all helpful for you, but I thought I'd try to address your question. I always come from the perspective that kids are better off being told the truth if it's explained to them sensitively and within their ability to understand.
Well....honesty!... but suggestions I though of might include, "you're welcome to call aunt Beth and see how she is"... or "let's take a picture of the pony to show uncle Ward."
Sometimes.... for my kids.... I just tell EX that we're gonna suck it up and do what the kids want to do.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~