Is it me?
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Is it me?
| Tue, 04-17-2007 - 1:13pm |
My husband and I are separated and will file for a divorce soon. This was long coming and we have been able to be friendly about the whole thing so far. I am the one who chose to end the mariage due to my husband's physical and emotional affairs. I blew up when I found out he was still going on line talking to young women (22years old...we are 35) he knew for when we lived in Dc, this after counseling and him being deployed. He spends his time telling them how hot they are, how he misses them....
Anyway, we talk every now and then when he calls the kids but I keep it very simple and to the basic as I know it is the best way for me to protect myself. So last night, we IM more than usually and during the discussion he tells me how hot I am...(keep in mind he tells others the same thing about them)so I tell him that it is too bad that my good look was never enough for him and he answers "sure it was! we just do not get each other" as in what he writes to others does mean what I think it does, he loves me...
Now I am a pretty clever girl and I know that this is bull so why do I feel like may be I was just blowing things out of proportion? Why do I keep on asking myself if it is just me who just do not understand?
Anybody has experience with this?
I know I want this divorce so why do I question my motives when I know the truth about him?
Anyway, we talk every now and then when he calls the kids but I keep it very simple and to the basic as I know it is the best way for me to protect myself. So last night, we IM more than usually and during the discussion he tells me how hot I am...(keep in mind he tells others the same thing about them)so I tell him that it is too bad that my good look was never enough for him and he answers "sure it was! we just do not get each other" as in what he writes to others does mean what I think it does, he loves me...
Now I am a pretty clever girl and I know that this is bull so why do I feel like may be I was just blowing things out of proportion? Why do I keep on asking myself if it is just me who just do not understand?
Anybody has experience with this?
I know I want this divorce so why do I question my motives when I know the truth about him?

We always question change... even when we know it's right, because change, even when it's right, isn't ever easy... and besides, you once loved him, and you still do on some level... and you always will because he is the parent of your children.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~