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| Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:24pm |
Hi all. I've been a member here ai iVillage for 9 years now, so the forums aren't new to me. But this whole divorce thing is.
I've been married for 9 years, and together with H for 9 1/2. We got married because I got pg. We have two dd's together (ages 8 and almost 5.), and I have a 12 1/2 yr. old dd from a previous relationship.
My H is a recovering alcoholic. He has some mental health issues, and a very addictive personality. He's very controlling and his anger is out of control. He has been physical with me twice, but I (stupidly) never reported it to the authorities.
I was a SAHM for 9 years, and have just recently gone back to work. I have realized that I don't have to live this way anymore. I don't have to raise my girls in fear of what their father is going to do next. I have raised my girls pretty much alone. He's lived int he same house, but really doesn't participate with us as a family. I can count the numbers of diapers that he has changed from two babies, on two hands.
So I'm getting out. I'm done. For about the last month I've had anxiety attacks at work almost every day, and I know it's due to the stress. (We have a new manager who is changing everything, and it's been a little hectic lately.) I have all teh paperwork to file with, but I've been advised by my lawyer to get a restraining order first. So that's what I'm working on now. I know he's going to go nuts when he gets served. I just don't know what he'll do to me, especially since we have several guns in our house. (We're in Alaska, so they're as legal as can be.)
I just wanted to give you some history before I jump right in here. It's nice to meet you all, although I wish it was under different circumstances.
~Jinxed_again

Good for you getting your ducks in a row before you take action. I am a sahm whose stbx decided to walk out on the marriage and his kids (my point of view, of course), so I am behind the curve.
Sorry about the guilt, but if he is drinking and abusing everyone in the house then you are protecting yourself and your children. I guess even when we do what is right there is a hint of guilt if someone gets hurt.
I hope you can build a new and better life for you and your children and can be protected from any unacceptable behavior from your stbx.
M
Hi there~
Welcome to the board, although I'm sorry that you're here, too.
I do think it's smart to be proactive in your approach.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
Hi Jinxed.
sorry you are having to go through all of this. it is very hard, isn't it?!
anyway, i recently filed and broke away from stbx who is an alcoholic. living in a household like that is very hard and at times, it feels as if you are all alone.
continue to post. good luck
what
((((Thank you)))) for all the support. I'm continuing to get my plans made and in action. This just isn't easy. I know I'll survive this, it's just going to take time.
For those who have already been granted their D, how long did it take to be finalized from the day you filed?
((((Hugs))))
Jinxed