Unbearable pain. Lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Unbearable pain. Lost.
3
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 9:25am

He's punishing me. And he's going to get away with it. He told me if I didn't go back to him that he'd take my kids, take me for support and force me out of my apartment.

So far he is winning. He got support. The judge already supports him because he took a weekend job to have the weeks off. She is leaning toward giving him the kids.

She doesn't know about his behavior or his threats. Please God, let her see him for what he is. PLEASE!!!!! OMG If I lose my kids to him I don't know how I can handle it. If he wasn't an abusive, alcoholic, bigot, and full of rage, perhaps being with him would be better for them since I work all week. But he doesn't want them to take care of them. He is after them to HURT ME.

And so far... he's getting that satisfaction. I'm ruined. This is why women stay with abusers. Because if they leave... if they aren't murdered... they are ruined by the legal system. PUNISHED for working to support their family. For the first time, my choice to make a good life for myself by educating myself and focus on a good career is going to destroy me. He made a complete career change and took a weekend job to make this happen for him. And the court, so far, is falling for it.

I'm going to lose it. I can't handle this. My life. My kids. Everything. Gone.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2007
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 2:46pm

Are you sure we arent married to the same man. I am exactly in the same situation. I do not have a job so if my H took my kids from me it would be because I cant support them. I stay with my h because I can not afford to leave. My H keeps telling me he wants joint custody but that is just so he does not have to pay as much child support. the only thing working for me is that he has a job where he travels all the time. I am going to do the best I can to be a good mom and keep myself together.

Good luck to you. Keep the faith and take care of you

Shop girl

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Tue, 04-24-2007 - 4:56pm

PR,


Do you have an attorney? If not, it would be wise to get one.


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-28-2006
Wed, 04-25-2007 - 4:03pm

I have a lawyer.

I separated from him and announced my intention to file for divorce in November. By February, I had waited around for him to come to terms with it... stupid mistake. He had threatened that if I didn't reconcile, he would take my kids and force me out of my apartment financially. Since I was slow on the button, he filed the divorce papers suing for custody, spousal support, alimony and legal fees... pretty much everything he could possibly get.

By the end of February, I was sick of being sued and doing nothing but defending myself against his aggressive actions. I filed for child support. He retalliated for filing the petition for spousal support.

Because he quit his job to relocate with me, even though he chose to take a lower paying job, they didn't hold him to his potential income (despite adequate training) and awarded him spousal support. Since the child support was more than I expected and the offset was not that much, I accepted the ruling rather than contest it at this time. Had it been permanent alimony, I would have contested it for sure.

Pretrial conference was continued until Wednesday next week. I'll get a feel for the judge at that time, but for now, she's biased toward him without knowing of his past behavior. I'm hoping my testimony is enough to place some shadow of doubt in her about his ability to properly care for the kids.