Out w/the truth at M/C tomrrw? INPUT PLS

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Out w/the truth at M/C tomrrw? INPUT PLS
4
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 1:08pm
To my H, whom there has been more fights than I care to imagine & many sleepless nights.
Verbal & Emotional abuse, he insists is caused by me & Emotional Blackmail is why I've stayed the past 2 years. I filed sep. & he flipped a head gasket/up all night told me the way it was worded we were going to war. I gave up my court date, had things dismissed, now we've lived in our state for 1yr so I can file 4 a D & skip seperation. Went to 2 sessions so far, going every week tomorrow being the next. H has stopped fighting, keeping me up all night & calling me names & belittling me but he wants to know whats going on. I will try to make this short but I'm thinking maybe I'll write stuff down and maybe read it to H in front of m/c during this week or next weeks session then go file for the D. What do you guys think?
Dear H-I know u r wanting to know what is going on. In the past year I've been to I/C & have read alot of self help books. I've learned alot about love & myself. I always said I must not love you as much as you love me. Over the years you've told me you didn't think I cared. We married b/c I was pregnant b/c you loved me but b/c I didn't want to disappnt my family & I wanted to try to make a happy family for the baby, but "we" have always felt wrong to me. I care about you & dont want to hurt you but I have to be true to myself and I can never give you what you need and vise versa. Without having that strong connection from the beginning, the verbal abuse over the years and the screaming and fighting and names have killed what little I did have for you & now the guilt I have comes from telling you that I am going to hurt you 1 final time by being true to myself and getting a divorce. I dont feel safe with you and I dont have what it takes to work on this anymore......
Well thats a short version...if I read this to him in front of the m/c maybe it will help the blow?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2007
Fri, 04-27-2007 - 1:54pm
Just be careful. He sounds very dangerous. Whatever you do, you definitely need to LEAVE and stay away. Do you think he deserves an explanation from you? It really doesn't sound like it to me.
Good luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 12:53pm

How did MC go?


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2007
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 12:01pm
I feel like if I dont get it out this week I'll completely go mad! I know that I'll hear how I am ruining the family and how he's gonna fight tooth and nail for his dd and that I'll never be able to leave the area b/c he'll keep me close, yada yada. God Give me stregnth but I feel I really really will lose my mind soon if I dont get him to accept that there is no hope.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 05-04-2007 - 1:42pm

Dr,


Your husband is abusing you. Maybe not with his fists, but he is inflicting psychological, emotional, and mental abuse on you by calling you names, keeping you up all night (sleep deprivation is a form of torture!), and otherwise belittling you.


Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) for help and information on getting help. They can help you prepare to leave and be safe with your daughter. They may also be able to help you find legal assistance, food, and a safe place to stay. They can also help you understand you are not responsible for your husband's feelings or his anger. HE IS.


Please be careful about putting anything in writing to your husband. It may make him very angry and give him an "excuse" to abuse you further. Call the hotline and get help so you can be free of this controlling and abusive person. You and your daughter deserve better.


Good luck.


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