How much did YOU WASTE?!!?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
How much did YOU WASTE?!!?
5
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 9:57am

1st if I am asking TMI, I apologize and of course you do not need to answer it. I understand that every case is slightly different and we all live in different states, but I'm nervous about what I will be paying.

Now, we ALL do not have a lot of money (its all relative) but I have NO money saved for a divorce. My only savings is for me to secure an apartment in June (& barely that).

Ok history:

We rent an apt (overpriced at that 1270 for a 2 bedroom, he works UNDER the table - I'm assuming that I may not get child support...(ooh I just got an idea to get a copy of the pymt records from daycare that he has been paying with checks)...BACK TO MY STORY...

I was lucky enough to sign on for my LEGAL SERVICES thru my company which will pay IN FULL (for only 15 hours of service) for divorce proceedings. I am scared that 15 hours will go thru EXTREMELY QUICKLY and then I'll have to pay out my ARSE...I have a huge list of lawyers that I can go thru but that 15 hours scares me...

We have no joint xpenses. A year ago or so, we opened sep. acts, no vehicles together, no loans together. truly all we have together is some furniture and our beautiful lil girl. He stated before that I cannot have her (but with a job UNDER the table and no vehicle - what judge will grant him my lil girl?) as for the furn...I wrote a list back in 2006 of what I would like to take and asked him to sign it (which he refused to do saying that his word is good) so that leads me to believe that he may not be so generous in making this easy and simple for me...and 15 hours will probably be right out the door.
NEED HELP?!? How expensive was it for you?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-20-2005
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 11:47am

I will be happy to help you. This my second time divorcing my husband. The first time, I went back beacause I lacked the confidence to make it on my own.

15 hours is not much at all. Please don't waste time with telephone calls and other stuff that is unnecessary.

1. Where do you live?

2. How many children? How old?

3. How long have you been married?

4. He gets paid under the table, does he use his credit cards? What about his bank account?

5. Who is mainly responsible for the children?

I am not a lawyer, but I know that there are many of here who can tell you what not to waste money on.

I am going to my daughter's game its is 2 hours away, but I would be happy to help you.

I have some great books with checklists that I would send to you if you would like that.

Remember, your lawyer will charge for every second you speak. He/she is not a counselor, they do not want to hear you difficulties emotionally. Use us here or a counselor for that.

I will look back later to see what others have said.

Good Luck. You can do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-30-2003
Sun, 04-29-2007 - 1:17pm
Have you seen a lawyer yet? You can generally get an hour long consultation free is you're interviewing a lawyer. Then you would have a good idea of how long and how much it may cost. It all hinges on how agreeable the parties are and how many details have to be worked out. I've spent a small fortune with no progress because my STBX is very disagreeable. Sometimes if you search legal sites in your city you can find info on the average cost of divorce in your area.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 9:27am

Madison,

Thank you for offering help. H spoke to me last night and said we should try to do tis whole thing by ourselves...I would love that and will give the benefit of the doubt but WILL NOT put all my eggs into that basket - we cant even agree on which furniture I can take.

To answer your questions -
1. Where do you live? In South Florida

2. How many children? How old? 1 almost 5yo child together. I have a 14 yo from a previous

3. How long have you been married? 6 years

4. He gets paid under the table, does he use his credit cards? What about his bank account? He owns NO credit cards. His bank statements MAY show what he deposits but if it's cash it may just sit in his hands.

5. Who is mainly responsible for the children? I am home more with the kids, I am mommy. Daddy gets to go to softball 5 nights a week. I am with them every weekend when he plays

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 9:37am

I did see a lawyer last year when I was just tHINKING about divorce..but just got his long arse speech on when it is easy..if we agree, the steps of divorce, etc.

I may just have to contact more attys on the list to get my "help". H just told me that we may not agree though on physical custody as he wants our baby at nights and I can see here when I drop her off to school. JERK OFF

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2005
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 3:35pm
I strongly recomend calling a few att. on the list. I'm not sure what the law states in your state however here in good old CO. chiild support is determined by how many nights the child stays with one parent. So, I really think that you talk to a lawyer and soon. Afterall knowlege is power.