I let him to it to me again......

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2007
I let him to it to me again......
4
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 3:40pm

I was one month away from divorce...January 11, 2007 would have been the day.

I let him move back in.

I had originally filed the divorce in June 2006 because he was cheating on me.

He moved back in late Nov. 2006....I couldn't get over it. Every time I looked at him, I saw the two of them together. It would have never been right.

I wrote him a heart to heart letter last week about doing things together and how I doubted his feelings.

Well, he's leaving. The attorneys have been renotified and it will all be over soon. Luckily, I never legally withdrew the divorce...because I had that "feeling". Funny how things work.

I am so sad. Sad and I feel like a complete idiot! How could I let him back and have this happen again? He wasn't supposed to give up again, he promised me the moon! What did I do but try to fix things, twice and heal from his affair! And now he'll be moving her back here (yes, she's lived in Vegas for almost 2 years but was in CT before then). I don't think I can handle it.

I have a huge support system but I feel like I want to crawl under a rock right now. It was almost 18 years of marriage. Two kids, DS 17, DD 12....

It's all been a cruel joke and I am so sad.
Thank you for reading...I look forward to talking to anyone who's willing.
Hugs,
Jennifer in CT

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2006
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 4:43pm

Oh, Jennifer. I am so sorry for your pain. Try not to second guess yourself. You did what you thought was best at the time in giving it another try.

I am sorry you are going through this. Hang in there and keep posting. There are lots of people here who will listen.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Wed, 05-02-2007 - 9:43pm

Ohh Jennifer, honey, I'm so sorry you are going through this. I don't have much advice for you as I am going through the same thing, and I'm a fellow New Englander (Massachusetts). Stay strong, even though I know it's easier said than done. You know in your heart that you've done all you could, even when you doubt yourself. Remember that. You've done nothing wrong. Write me if you'd like. I haven't posted here yet, but I'm on daily.

Take care!! You'll be in my thoughts.

Karie from Massachusetts (soon RI)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 12:09am
I feel bad for you, however, you are being given the chance to start over and make the most of the second part of your life. You will move on because you have to. The kids will be okay too. Mine have survived this turmoil, and so will yours. I had over 20 years in my marriage and have had to start all over in my life. It hasn't been easy, but I take it day by day. During this difficult time lean on the strength of your friends and family. They will be there for you. Life constantly changes; this I have learned from my own experiences. You're not alone.
Belinda
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Thu, 05-03-2007 - 9:50am

JJ,


Look at this from another perspective: you weren't the fool, he is! HE blew it! Not you. Plain and simple. While it's painful to learn someone you loved and lived with for so long isn't capable of being faithful and is a liar, you will survive.


Move forward as best you can. It will take time to heal from the betrayal and the divorce, but it can be done. Chances are you'll be in better shape emotionally a year from now than he will. (Don't be surprised if he comes back looking for you if him and the GF break up. And, don't be surprised if he cheats on her!)


Take care of yourself and try not to beat yourself up.


Let us know how you are doing.


Blessings,

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

CL-Wisdomtooth2020