Going to court tomorrow

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Going to court tomorrow
7
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:19pm

Don't want to get into much (havning a hard enough time not crying) but we go to court tomorrow for the divorce. Everything is already agreed on and fine. I know the kids and I will be just fine. I hope. I am terrified, sad, angry, confused...all into one. This wasn't my fault. I didn't want this. I did everything I could to prevent this...and now look at where I am. Going anyway. I wasn't supposed to be a single mom at 30. I married for better or for worse. He was my destiny. Now what am I supposed to do? I know I am a strong and independent woman and I deserve a man who will love me, respect me and care for me. Not one who will walk all over me, take advantage of me and disrespect me. I know my kids and I will be better off this way. A happy mom makes happy kids, right? We have remained very amicable and friendly and I hope that continues. The kids need him and he is great with them. I don't want to hate him for the rest of my life. I don't want to fight. It takes too much out of me that I just don't have left to give. I'm just so sad. I just feel like I've wasted the last 7 years of my life and other than my kids...I almost wish I could rewind it and do it all again. Then again...i didn't do anything wrong. I keep trying to tell myself that. So...logisics...what does one wear when one gets divorced?? What is the proper thing to wear? I figured pants and a shirt. Not jeans.

Anyway, off subject.

Thanks for reading!

Karie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:26pm
Hey Karie, My story is very similar to yours except I wasted nearly 20 years of my life. I don't have any advice, but I do have great big hugs. I am sorry you are going through this. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:28pm

Thank you so much, Brenda. Means a lot. This sucks, huh?!

Karie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2004
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:40pm
This sucks in a really big way. Take care of yourself. Hugs, Brenda

Hugs, Brenda 

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:43pm

Hey Karie...

I know what you're feeling... I feel that way too some times... the wasted years and wanting to rewind and try again... just be prepared for anything tomorrow... sometimes people are happy and relieved when its over, other times it can be bittersweet at best... try to do something nice for yourself tomorrow once its all done with... it can be anything from a little treat for you, to a call to an old friend to a nice relaxing bubble bath once the kidlets are sleeping...

As for me, I wore a suit to the court when my divorce was heard... some were there in jeans and such... which surprised me a bit...

I'm thinking of ya... let us know how it goes...

*hugs*

Julie

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 05-10-2007 - 10:50pm

Hi Brenda! :)

Just wanted to say hi and let you know that I've been thinking of you... things here are, well, they were good today...

I've been writing mega long posts under that Oh Karen thread if you're interested in an update from this side of things... lots of the same old with a little bit of different stuff too...

Sending hugs your way!

Julie

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2005
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 8:11pm

Thanks everyone. Court today was actually uneventful. Very emotionally draining, but it went very smoothly. For the first time, we actually hugged, held hands in court as we were both terrified, and tried to comfort each other. We both knew it was happening and did what we needed to do. I do hope we can remain friends. Actually best friends. He is very important to me and I think I am able to put all of his bad decisions aside and how it affected and ruined our marriage. I think now I can just sit back and see what he does with his life (good and bad) and know no matter what that I'll be just fine. I don't have to wonder how what he is doing or saying will affect me or not. I no longer have to try to "fix" things. I'm on my own and I know I will thrive. I am emotionally drained and still feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat, but I wanted to let you know that it went well and I know I'll be ok.

Thanks again!!

Karie

Avatar for momtojoeybear
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 05-11-2007 - 9:16pm

I thought of you today... I'm glad it went smoothly... I hope you have some time to relax tonight...

Julie