Telling the kids

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2007
Telling the kids
6
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 3:26pm

My husband and I are telling the kids (boys ages 4 1/2 and 7)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2006
Tue, 12-11-2007 - 5:25pm

Hi There - I haven't been on this board for a little while now but I saw your post and felt compelled to respond.

Rosecolouredspecs
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2006
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 4:07pm

Glad to hear your are planning and reading. Two good books: "The truth about children and divorce" and "Helping your children cope with divorce."

I agree with Rose -- wait until after the holidays. My girls are 5 and 7 and the experets say for that age range -- two to three weeks notice is "best."

Rose is an amazing woman -- if you can carry it off as smoothly as she then your children will do as well as can be hoped.

Mine have coped pretty well; stbx and I told them together; had a script and made plenty of time for reaction and conversation.

The girls have a full range of feelings about it all. As time goes by (he finally moved out in July 2007) there is more sadness and missing him. They still want me to love him because it has to do with my loving them. We tell them we love ea. other as God calls us to love everyone, just not "in love."

We are as cooperative as we are able. I encourage you and stbx to try to do so, as well.

It will hurt the children no matter how you handle it; it isn't over once you tell them. Divorce is something they will live with their whole lives. There will be sad moments, but they can still grow to be whole, happy, healthy young people if you and stbx truly work together to raise them with love and care.

GL

M

PS Rose, it is good to see you still drop by the board as do I. I have always been inspired by your can-do attitude. Hope all is well.

Avatar for jenn1018
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-12-2006
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 7:01pm

My huge advice is wait until after Christmas if you can.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Wed, 12-12-2007 - 9:49pm

I'm going ot say that telling them sooner, rather than later, is best.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2004
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 5:06am

Don't for get that kids are humans, they know more then you think and

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Thu, 12-13-2007 - 8:37am

I COMPLETELY AGREE!

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