divorced at 24

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2007
divorced at 24
13
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 4:55pm

met my Husband when i was a freshman in college, got engaged during junior year, married 4 weeks after college graduation, married for 1 year 4 months, and i left.

i couldn't be married to someone who made me feel so SO badly about myself.

no kids, only a puppy, whom i miss SO SO SO much, but i have never been happier about a decision in my life.

one of my main struggles right now is feeling like i'm damaged goods because i am going to be divorced by the time i'm 24 years old.

i've always felt like i did things by the book..........

is there anybody out there who feels the same way?

i've been blogging and i thought i would share:

http://life-by-the-book.blogspot.com/




life isn't always by the book....
http://life-by-the-book.blogspot.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Fri, 12-14-2007 - 8:48pm

I am getting divorced,
I am 26, married 3 years
Have 4 kids

"damaged goods" doesn't even begin to cover how I feel!

Liz

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2007
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 12:21am

how far are you into your divorce?

i'm not really all that sure what else to say to you, except, that you are NOT damaged goods. you are valuable, you are wanted, you are worthy of something better.

and there is always something better within our grasp.




life isn't always by the book....
http://life-by-the-book.blogspot.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 10:55am

I read this last night

"Surrender is a gift that you can give yourself.
It's an act of faith.
It's saying that even though I can't see where this river is flowing,
I trust that it will take me in the right direction."

My STBX filed for divorce on the day before thanksgiving. He took off on Oct 26th, and tried to abduct the daughters that we have together (I have 2 boys from a prev. relationship) I was served with divorce papers on Nov 28th. My lawyer is filing our answer to those papers next week.
Its going to get ugly, I have been warned by a friend of my STBX's family. Oh well, truth and whats right are on my side. He has nothing... but lies and excuses and hatred.
He was cheating on me and I caught him on my sons 7th birthday.
nice guy eh?

Liz

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 12:52pm

Life,


For what its worth we all think life will be a straight line when we're young. (I have mine all mapped out when I was 19..it hasn't gone anything like I expected!)


Life happens. Sometimes it goes the way we think. ;-) Most of the time it doesn't!


First and foremost, stop thinking of yourself as "damaged goods." You're ONLY 24! Instead think of this as learning about life firsthand or as my father used to say "The School of Hard Knocks." What can you learn from this experience? You married for a certain reason and you divorced for certain reasons. That's valuable information to take into your next relationship. It means you won't settle for the same type of guy next time around. You'll be able to see the warning signs and move on before it becomes more. Got it?


Also, I strongly encourage you to set new goals for yourself. When I went through my divorce I made a list of all kinds of things I wanted to do. I came up with 240 different things! Some were small like reading a certain book. Some were big like trying a new hobby. Some were silly (go to a costume party!) and some were serious (remarry).


The point is your life is just starting. You've had a bump in the road, but your far from being "done." So don't look back. Take the lessons you've learned from your experience and go forward. You'll soon find your life is more interesting and better than you imagined!


Take care!

CL-Wisdomtooth2020


Learn to spell. Some commonly misspelled words on this board:


Council

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2007
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 3:55pm

I am 26 years old, getting a divorced, 5 children and married for 4 1/2 years. i feel so lonely and i'm all cried out. i know i can get through it with just one day at a time. good luck to you all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Sat, 12-15-2007 - 4:24pm
*huggs*
I am all cried out too! I wish you the best!!!
I am here to talk anytime.
Liz
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2007
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 10:34pm

thank you so much for all of your sweet words.

it is such an encouragement to know that sweet people do exist in this world and that they want me to succeed.

-thanks-




life isn't always by the book....
http://life-by-the-book.blogspot.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 11:15pm
"Surrender is a gift that you can give yourself.
It's an act of faith.
It's saying that even though I can't see where this river is flowing,
I trust that it will take me in the right direction."
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-14-2007
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 11:22pm

i love this,

i wrote it down in my journal tonight.

thank you.




life isn't always by the book....
http://life-by-the-book.blogspot.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Tue, 12-18-2007 - 12:58am
"DAMAGED GOODS"
I really hate to hear you feel this way, but to me from what you wrote your "STRONG & INCREDIBLE GOODS" You did not allow yourself to go thru years of abuse & low self esteem. We all know that "People Will Treat Us The Way We Allow Them To Treat Us!" You chose not to be treated badly and for that you should be very proud of yourself! So keep your head up & don't allow anyone to treat you any less than the "Queen" that you are!
Best of luck !
Lola.

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