Kids know too soon

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Kids know too soon
3
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 10:04am

Hi all,


I've lurked here awhile because I haven't made my move yet. I did tell my H of 21 years that I want out of the marriage and his answer was "you want to end the marriage, then you leave, because I'm not going anywhere"


Well, after looking at places to live for myself and two teens (D & S) I suggested to him that he go. He said no way.


So this weekend, he was all worked up about a comment I made about fixing

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2007
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 5:42pm

Dear Why not,


You sound very strong and sure of yourself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-01-2007
Mon, 12-17-2007 - 8:50pm

My husand has been verbally abusive and has had numerous affairs early in our marriage that we tried to work past. We discussed splitting up about 10 years ago, but decided to stay together for the kids. I just can't do it anymore, and the verbal and emotional abuse have gotten worse.


As far as military, he is active duty Navy. My lawyer asked if I could tough it out until my H's retirement which is two years away. He also said I could drag things out with separation, etc, so the D is final when he retires. Otherwise, depending on how long you were married, in conjunction with how long you H was active duty you get a portion of his retirement. I'm hanging in there because he'll have 20 years in and we will have been married over 20 years, so I would have commissary and health care benefits. It's part of the Soilders and Sailors Relief Act, I think if you google military divorce, or the SSRA, you might get some more info. Hope that helps.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2006
Tue, 12-18-2007 - 6:57pm
Hang in there and get your benefits.