wanting to contact my stbx on New Year's

Avatar for julie364
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
wanting to contact my stbx on New Year's
1
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 7:19pm
I thought I would come here for a post/vent. I found myself wanting to write an email to stbx. He may be alone this NY's eve. He supposedly broke up with the OW. Even though I know he will probably be with her (maybe they broke up maybe not)I just wanted to see how he was, be in contact. Sooooo I came here instead. I am sure he would call me if he wanted to talk to me and why should I want to talk with him. He put so much space between us. I thought we could be caring toward one another but that bond was broken. I was always willing to work at the marriage and the relationship. He did not. Maybe just maybe I am putting myself before him for a change. After years and years and years it is hard to stop caring about someone.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-07-2003
Mon, 12-31-2007 - 8:05pm

*huggs*
I have wanted to write to STBX a million times. I have even called him to tell him things like I still want to try or I would have forgiven him for his affair had he just given me the chance. Every time, something happens (like a stupid email from him harassing me again) or a rude comment from him on the phone, and I just don't bother. I figure he doesn't care anyways. I cant say for sure that he would call or write if he wanted to talk to me, but I am DONE doing all the leg work in the relationship. All I got in the end is blame "for sucking him in" and "not letting him go" or "controlling him". All I wanted to do is make sure he always knew that I didn't want the divorce and still wanted to try.
I say, wait. Perhaps write a letter and don't send it. Send it after reading it if you still want to.

Liz