merry christmas I want a divorce

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
merry christmas I want a divorce
4
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 2:04pm

On Christmas my husband informed me he wanted a divorce. It has been rocky for awhile but this came a a shock to me. The days leading up to him telling me this he had spent time with an old friend who he recently got back in contact with. She has a bf but her ex-husbands sister is single. The past couple times I have called him some woman has answered his phone. He is playing mind games and using our 3 year old against me. I'm depressed one moment then ok the next. I feel like my heart is going to break out of my chest. Any advice?

Lauren

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-01-2004
Tue, 01-01-2008 - 10:15pm

Wow my heart goes out to you. I feel very similar about fine one minute and in pain and sorrow the next. The only way I get through right now is a good glass of wine and taking it day by day, sometimes hour by hour. I am reading a book called Eat, Pray, Live and there is some really good quotes about divorce and taking it one step at a time to find yourself. (For the record it is not a deeply religous book but a one persons pilgramige to find themself.)


Sending warm thoughts!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 7:47am

Hello,


I have been married for 23 years, most of them good years (so I thought). My wife informed me Dec 18 that she didn't love me and wanted a divorce. At first I was completely devastated then after a few days of feeling sorry for myself and starting to see things more clearly. I do not want nor do I deserve to be in a relationship that the other party is not happy with. I have 2 children (18 and 22) and 1 grandchild, they are the reason for me to maintain my sanity. It is not easy restructuring your life after almost a quarter century has passed. But, the thing to remember is its not the end of the world, people move on, life goes on. I have leave coming up and will be facing her for the first time in almost a year, as I am currently in Iraq. But, I am filing for divorce and getting my things out and spending some time with my grandson (Wyatt) whom I haven't seen yet.This may not help you any but, understand that there are allot of people going through very similar things, we just have to share our experiences sometimes.


We can and will be better people for having gone through life changing events, hold your head up and remember the strengths, and move forward (even if it don't feel like you're moving) I promise it will be easier in the morning,

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 5:06pm
Thank you for the warm thoughts. What makes me sad is he has a daughter who I have raised since she was 2. Her biological mom hasn't seen her since she was 3. He won't let me talk to her or see her. He plays mind games and I have heard him call me names to our 3 yr old. I did get a lawyer and am filing for temp. custody until mediation/court date is set. He is going around saying he is in a relationship. I get so lonely and wonder if I will ever find love!
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2008
Wed, 01-02-2008 - 10:48pm
I like what you say. I need to stop feeling sorry and get on with my life. I talked with my attorney today and things are going forward on custody of our 3 year old son. I guess it hurts to see him already moved on but as my mother told me he moved on emotionally a long time ago so he has already been through what I am going through. I am just uncomfortable with my son going over to a woman's house where I can hear her bad mouth me in the back ground when he calls. Every time I walk out the door my son says "Mommy I don't want to go to gramma Mary's. I don't want my daddy. I don't talk bad about his father and never will in front of him. When he came home Monday he said "Daddy says your mean/bad." I wonder where he got that!=/ I think all my ex is going to do is hurt his own-self in the end!