Here we go again!
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| Tue, 01-08-2008 - 6:27pm |
Need to vent.....
My husband and I have not been living together for a month and a half. He is really still wants to get back together. Over the last number of years he has been emotional abusive.
Today I had a minor medical procedure and he really wanted 'to be there for me' because he knows he let me down in the past. Here is what happened he wanted to take me to the hospital but I said no, it would mean more for me if he could help with the kids and he reluctantly agreed to that. So last night while I was prepping for my procedure he came and helped put the kids to bed and then was going to stay so that I would not be alone. BUT here is the clencher....he said he would only stay if could sleep in our bed with me. I said no and he got a little upset but left. Today same thing he came to take care of the kids and said he really wanted to take care of me, but said he would not stay if he could not sleep with me in our bed. So his 'love' for me is still conditional even when he is trying to love me unconditionaly.
I still feel crazy and we do not even live together. If he was SO worried about ME, wouldn't he sleep on the couch? It kind of solidfies my feelings for him, that I will never truly matter even when he supposedly puts me first.
Needed to vent but would love feedback!

*hug*
Hope everything went okay with your minor procedure!
My XH had very similar values. He wasn't there emotionally, even though he professed to be. And he wanted ME to fix the marriage, all by myself!
It's been eye-opening, to say the least, over the past 6 years, watching him change from someone who desperately wanted to work things out with me and who professed to being a great father to someone who puts himself at the very top of the heap and everyone else a distant second. What a relief that I don't go home to THAT every night!
While I have faith that people CAN change, I know in my heart that they can only change if they truly want to and that they know that actions speak louder than words.
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie