Please:How do you do it? Leave?
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Please:How do you do it? Leave?
| Wed, 01-09-2008 - 8:28pm |
New here...and I am having a hard time even writing this....but I am at my wit's end. I am considering asking for a separation and can't figure out how I will actually

Sunflower,
What I suggest is you make a plan. Don't wait until you're so stressed out and so desparate you just pick up your child and go out the door. If you do, you put yourself at a gross disadvantage, i.e. where to go, how to live, etc.
So, I suggest you make a plan.
1)Gather information. Visit with a divorce attorney to learn your rights and responsibilities. What options exist for spousal support, child support, and custody/visitation? What is your state's child support formula? Can you live on that?
2)Prepare. Do you work outside the home? If not, can you get a job? What child care options exist? Can you afford them? Can you keep a car? The family Home? What are your bills?
3)Set deadlines. Your "end date" might be the day you leave or serve papers. Set smaller deadlines between now and then, i.e. when you'll see a lawyer, etc.
Again, don't just "up and leave" because you'll create a whole set of problems for yourself. Plan.
Good luck and let us know how you're doing.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Learn to spell. Some commonly misspelled words on this board:
They're = contraction of "they are"; They're going to the store.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Thank you so much for your response. You are right...I often have that desire to just run as fast as I can and I know I can't. So, I will make a plan...although I feel like I am being deceptive....I know it is just what I have to do.
Have a great day!
Hi sun_flower_1 - I have been married for 11 years with the last 5 being an up and down rollercoaster.
I feel for you, I am in the same boat.
You know, something else to consider is that friends and family may see more of the crappiness in your relationship than you really think they do. I was shocked when my mom told me one day, "You know, I'd understand if you divorced him." It wasn't two weeks after that I decided to actually do it, and it's now maybe two months later and I just got my divorce papers today and a draft of our settlement agreement.
I've been surprised how many of my friends haven't been nearly as surprised as I thought they might be. Many have said they saw it coming. Sure, some family has been very surprised, but it hasn't been nearly as bad as I anticipated. I've got a two year old child, and our marriage was basically okay. It just wasn't what I wanted for the rest of my life.