I would agree that it isnt wise to be putting even more distance between the two of you, but although it isnt right, I have read the book "Love Smart" from Dr. Phil and highly recommend it to everyone, whether you are married, single or divorced, and a part in the book addresses an issue that if someone (now this is dating now and not applied to separated couples)..nothing to get someone"s attention more, is when you are getting attention from someone of the opposite sex.
Ask her out. Plan something nice. Put some time and effort into your appearance. Get tickets to a play, or art opening, or something she'd enjoy. Make reservations at a decent restaurant. Pick her up (or meet her if she's more comfortable driving her own car) and spend a little time together without discussing your issues. Court her. Get to know her again. Then, take her home, drop her off, and let it be just that. Don't ask for sex and don't expect it.
If you want to work on your marriage you must focus on your marriage. Even if its uncomfortable to hear what's being said (in or out of counseling) and you need to face some things, you can't expect to recover your relationship with her if you're seeing other people. It's not possible to work on a relationship if you're diverting your attention away from it.
Find other ways to deal with your loneliness. Volunteer. Take a class. Join a book club. Find other ways of dealing with sexual needs (and lets face it when you've been married we all know what we're missing.) Just don't get involved with someone else before you've decided the marriage is done.
I would agree that it isnt wise to be putting even more distance between the two of you, but although it isnt right, I have read the book "Love Smart" from Dr. Phil and highly recommend it to everyone, whether you are married, single or divorced, and a part in the book addresses an issue that if someone (now this is dating now and not applied to separated couples)..nothing to get someone"s attention more, is when you are getting attention from someone of the opposite sex.
Scared,
Do you know who you should date?
Your wife. Seriously.
Ask her out. Plan something nice. Put some time and effort into your appearance. Get tickets to a play, or art opening, or something she'd enjoy. Make reservations at a decent restaurant. Pick her up (or meet her if she's more comfortable driving her own car) and spend a little time together without discussing your issues. Court her. Get to know her again. Then, take her home, drop her off, and let it be just that. Don't ask for sex and don't expect it.
If you want to work on your marriage you must focus on your marriage. Even if its uncomfortable to hear what's being said (in or out of counseling) and you need to face some things, you can't expect to recover your relationship with her if you're seeing other people. It's not possible to work on a relationship if you're diverting your attention away from it.
Find other ways to deal with your loneliness. Volunteer. Take a class. Join a book club. Find other ways of dealing with sexual needs (and lets face it when you've been married we all know what we're missing.) Just don't get involved with someone else before you've decided the marriage is done.
It's not fair to either one of you if you do.
Good luck and let us know how it's going.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020