What do I owe him?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
What do I owe him?
4
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 11:06am
Married 2.5 yrs, separated 1 year. We've seen 3 counselors during our relationship. I told him I want a divorce and he asked to see another counselor. I feel they haven't helped and that our marriage is "irretrievably broken." Do I owe it to him to go to one final therapy session?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-08-2007
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 3:25pm
Three's the magic number. That would seem to have been the final one to me, four just seems like overkill. If it makes you feel better to say "Okay, but this is the last time if it doesn't work" then go ahead, if you can still stand to, but you certainly don't owe it to him after 3 tries, which sounds more than fair. Did the counslers seem competent? Because it's never going to work no matter how great they are if you don't want it too. And if you feel anything like me, you're just done, and done is done.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 10:16pm

If you've already been to THREE counselors.... in less years... I think not.


Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 01-14-2008 - 11:36pm

Thinking,


Hi. Your STBX is engaged in denial. First, by asking for "one more chance" he's delaying the next step. Second, he's hoping if you'll go to just "one more counselor/counseling session" you'll change your mind and everything will be all better.


You've been married very briefly and seem to have spent almost 50% of it apart. I don't know what issue you're dealing with but truly if you've tried counseling and the only reason you're going is because he just won't give up on the marriage, it's kind of like beating a dead horse.


I say draw your line in the sand and get on with the next step. If that's filing papers, file them.


Good luck,


CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-11-2008
Tue, 01-15-2008 - 10:44am
You guys give great advice. Thanks for saying it straight. In my own head, I can easily get confused and question myself, but you snap me back into reality. I need to learn to trust myself more!