its final

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
its final
2
Fri, 01-18-2008 - 12:15am

Well, after months of dragging this out, on the day of my grandmother's funeral my stbx finally became my ex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-04-2003
In reply to: singlemomsoon
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 4:18am

Hi Lynne-

In answer to your question does it hurt even though you thought you did the right thing- YES!!! I wasn't even married that long so I feel like I failed tremendously. At first I was so happy to get out of an emotional and physically abusive relationship, but then I fetl like such a failure because I had told everyone that i was so happy and never let on to the problems we were having. In addition, I was seeing someone else pretty early on so I felt like I wasn't even giving the marriage a chance. The only thing that really kept me sane was a therapist that told me I didn't deserve to be in this situation and I was wasting my time- I am in my 30's and want to have kids. Finally, my close friends and family came around, but I used to watch my wedding videos and look at pictures nightly and cry and cry once he was finally gone. I think only time and distance can heal your heart. I turned to alcohol which made it worse. The pain does get less and less each day but unfortunately, I seem to only remember the good times with him. Therapy did help. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-28-2007
In reply to: singlemomsoon
Sat, 01-19-2008 - 10:36am
thanks, This has been a really rough week for me and I guess I had just given up on him settling before trial so it still seems like a shock. I had already purchased my plane tickets to go back for the trial and now I am looking forward to getting together with friends and being able to celebrate moving on.