Gotta vent......stupid ex!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
Gotta vent......stupid ex!
5
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 3:52pm

So my ex calls me this morning. The conversation goes into two subjects, child support and the ONE visitation I didn't allow.

First he tells me that he's going to have the judge "require" that I provide receipts for the child support he's paid so far. He's supposed to pay $1475 a month. He's got $6000+ in back child support and it was only ordered from June, 2007. Anyway, he's trying to say that I've blown "his" child support on crap and not spent it on the kids. And he's got "witnesses" to my saying that I only sought custody of the kids to get "his" money. Uh-huh. Funny thing is, he can't name them. If I could have strangled someone through a phone line I would have done it this morning. He's such a loser.

And then he says that he can't wait to tell the judge that I didn't allow him his visit ONE time a few weeks ago. Um okay. There was 3 ft of snow on the ground, the roads at my house were impassable, he was driving around with no insurance or registration, and I made a judgement call. I even called the local PD to ask what I should do. They said that Highway Patrol had issued a warning about road conditions stating that driving should be done only if necessary. I didn't think that a one hour road trip (in good weather) to their dad's house was necessary. The highway he was supposed to use to get there had chain controls and there was a 17 car accident on the highway about the time he would have had my kids on the road. AND I called him two days before and told him that the weather was supposed to be really bad and I didn't think a visit was a good idea. So I told him to go ahead and tell the judge, but nothing was going to happen. What I didn't tell him was that #1- he'd have to file a motion saying that I was in contempt of court. and #2- he'd have to prove it wasn't hazardous conditions.

AARRGGHHHH!

So since we have a court date coming up, should I be worried? I'm not mind you, but if I should I need to start gathering my evidence. Not that I don't have daycare receipts to the tune of $720+ a month, all of my food receipts, my rent receipts and the various receipts from having to keep the kids in clothes, shoes, etc... Looking at what he's paid me compared to what I've spent is laughable. He hasn't even given me enough collectively to cover day care.

And as for the visitation, well, that's a judgment call. We'll both have to explain our side and see what the judge thinks. I didn't deny a visit because I didn't feel like it. It wasn't safe to be driving and my driveway wasn't clear so I couldn't get out. Of course that is depending on his filing the appropriate paperwork and considering he hasn't filed the first shread of paperwork in regards to the divorce, I'm not worried.

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 4:27pm

I know in Michigan, if not all states, there is no accounting for how the CS is spent.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 5:19pm

That's what I thought. I filed for divorce in 07.07 and we've had two hearings. My ex has NEVER filed a shred of paperwork, no response to the divorce complaint, nothing. The judge has given him two chances now to get this filed. Before we've only seen "under judges". The judge we're going to appear before this time is different. He's the "main" judge and I hear he doesn't tolerate "deadbeats". (This judge was shot by a guy who had just killed his ex wife over child support payments).

As for the child support, all I'd have to provide would be the daycare receipts. I've gotten less than $500 a month from him on average, and I spend $480 a month on my son alone. I used that extra $20 to vacation in Hawaii ya know?
I just wasn't sure if this was something he could do. I'd think the judge would be more interested in knowing why my ex has such a high amount of arrears given he also hasn't been paying the mortgage, the truck payment, or any other bills that I have access to.

And I kept the newspaper clipping, and can get the report from the PD that I called in. (the officer I spoke to on the phone made a report so I could have something to prove I called in.) And I doubt the judge would worry too much about the weather report, it was the first big snowstorm of the season, so it's not like I'm making it up. And it's like the police officer said, if I couldn't get out of my driveway, there's nothing I could do about it. ( I took pics of the snow -btw)

So I'm not gonna sweat it. It seems to me that he knows he's losing and is grasping at straws.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-12-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 5:29pm

Hey... I was just going to second what the other poster had said... it definitely sounds like he's trying to lash out/put you on the defensive when you've truly done nothing wrong... there is no accounting for child support... does my xh know that I just put it in the bank?

 


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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-06-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 5:56pm

"As far as the visit goes, if the weather was that bad, I don't think your xh has a leg to stand on... I guess you could get picky and say that that weekend should be flipped out for another one... so IF it is a problem in court (which I doubt, but IF), just volunteer to give him one additional weekend... your offer, whether or not he takes it, should make up for the one that was missed. Remember, your number one job as the parent is the protect your child from danger... the danger that weekend was the weather and the roads themselves... case shut..."

When I called him two days before the scheduled visit, I suggested the following weekend, so I did give him another option. He chose to show up anyway, and call my cell phone knowing it doesn't work at my house, instead of calling my house phone. Although, the visitation agreement gives him every weekend, although, he's chosen to do every other weekend. (I'm going address that in court and try to get his visits to just be every other weekend. I was being way too generous when I started this.)

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 7:41pm

Ive,


Hi. The other parents here are right. Your EX is the one who should be concerned about how things appear to the judge. He's the one behind in child support. That's not going to go over well with any judge worth their salt. So don't listen to his taunts about how you spend the money you do get. That's hogwash.


And your Ex is an idiot if he thinks a judge is going to

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