For those who are divorced

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
For those who are divorced
25
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 7:08am
My husband and I have not decided on divorce quite yet, but I need to know how you handle all the changes that come with divorce. I mean, I worked just as hard as he did to get where we are today and if we divorce our son and I will basically lose everything. We will go from living in a nice house to an apartment, from driving a nice car to an old one, I will have to go from working part-time to working full time and he will go from being homeschooled to public school. I will lose my health insurance, and certainly won't have anything as luxurious as cable with DVR and cable internet. It will be like taking 10 steps back. My stupid husband is the one who made the mistake yet my son and I will be the ones paying for it. I feel like I have no choices, no control over what happens in my life right now and it really, really sucks. How does anyone get through this?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 9:55am

I gave up a lot when I left my M but I am much better off now.


Don't worry about your son because he will survive. I'm sure people are telling you that but it is true.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-14-2005
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 10:53am
Thanks for your reply. My main problem is that we are so deep in debt that it will take all the profits from the sale of our house to pay it off, which is what we would have to do to keep our credit from being ruined. That means starting over with nothing. I would also need to go back to school to get the job I want. Oh, and we have a cat and a big dog. How am I going to find an apartment that will take the dog? I can't stop thinking/worrying about all this and it is making me crazy. How do you start over with nothing? How can I go to school, find a full time job, find an apartment, deal with sending my son back to school all at the same time? People tell me things will come together, but that is so hard to believe when you are stuck in the middle of the tunnel and can't see the light at the end.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 12:08pm

I know how overwhelming things can seem right now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 12:30pm

Can i relate! Its been 4 yrs for me, and I gave up the big house, fancy car, the safety blanket if I were to get layed off from a working situation or if I needed to take time off.

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 7:21pm

I can relate to your problems also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
Tue, 01-29-2008 - 9:56pm

Going without an attorney can save you lots of money - it can also cost you lots of money.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2008
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 10:12am

Hi,


Not sure where to start.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 12:37pm

I had the guilt too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-30-2008
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 1:19pm

Sounds like you and I may be close to the same age and experience.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Wed, 01-30-2008 - 5:03pm

I am 47 yrs old.

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