I can't stop stalking him!!!! HELP!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
I can't stop stalking him!!!! HELP!
9
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 7:47am

I have only been separated for a little over a week.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 9:41am

Dear Tori,
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. Can you ask him to change his passwords? I can only imagine how tempting it is to constantly check his phone account, emails, whatever. Just say "Hey, I was thinking since we are separated, we should change all of our passwords since we know each other's." Unfortunately, if you're at work and your work doesn't have the blocking software, it will be too easy to do. If you have a lot of down time at work, and are allowed to do personal things on the computer, then allot yourself that time (5 minutes or whatever) to play a really fun game or maybe check some news or celebrity gossip instead of researching your ex's info.

And, get out and do something away from work and the computer. Go somewhere there are no computers, phones, a place where you will never see your ex. Maybe a park. Do you have a dog? Volunteer somewhere. This is an opportunity for you to start over. Maybe in doing so you will be happier with yourself and truly not care what he is doing. good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 11:17am

hey tori.


I am sorry for what you are going through.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 11:21am
I know this is still new but you need to develop some kind of behavior mod to keep yourself from doing it, otherwise you'll just make yourself crazy and hurt yourself more.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 12:14pm

Hi tori,


You might want to take a look at the Love Addicts / Codependants message board.


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Tue, 05-13-2008 - 8:05pm
I appreciate all the great support and advice given on this board!
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 11:31am
Hi there! Just checking in to see how you're doing today with no contact! I hope it's going well.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 6:30pm

Well today was a little tough because I had to see him this morning to drop off DD.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Wed, 05-14-2008 - 9:09pm
Way to go Tori! I can only imagine how hard it was for you to not check. I guarantee after a week of not checking you will feel better and it will be come less hard to not check. Great job!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 6:30am
Thank you so much!