Scared...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
Scared...
3
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 6:40am

I woke up again today with sour stomach and stressed out energy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2007
In reply to: tori1202
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 7:51am
I know this is normal but I am not the type of person to sit around waiting for something to happen.

sc_gal

Being beautiful on the inside is a choice

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-29-2003
In reply to: tori1202
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 7:59am

I guess I am confused on which direction to take.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
In reply to: tori1202
Thu, 05-15-2008 - 10:26am

Tori,
I think it makes the most sense, given that you have a daughter, to be cordial and not "surprise" him with anything. Unless you think that he will do it to you, then I'm all for surprising him. I think that divorce is so difficult for children, (and us, too) but really the kids are the ones that end up with the lifelong lasting damage if we don't act cordial throughout the divorce.

As far as whether things will change, it doesn't seem likely. Do you really want him back if things dont work out with OW? If he is still having contact with her, then he's not really taking the time to consider whether he wants to be married--it seems more like he's trying to see what future he has with her. And it doesn't sound like he's been straightforward with you about this. (And if you're ok with this, as some married couples are, then that's fine. But it doesn't seem like he even has been honest with you about it, which isn't fair.) Maybe you can also use this time to decide if YOU really want to be married to HIM.

For him, the trial separation may be just to see if you might get over him a little, in which case it will be easier for him to end the marriage, as he won't feel as guilty for having left you.