Where is the self respect?
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Where is the self respect?
| Sat, 05-24-2008 - 10:47pm |
I am sitting here wondering what the heck happened to my self respect. I had caught my husband cheating (I told him I WOULD NOT tolerate that- been there done that in a previous relationship). He begged and pleaded to let him stay - all the promises sounded so good, the tears seemed so real. I couldn't make him leave. I loved him - we were working on the relationship... even got married a short year later, that's how good it was going. Now, I find that he lost respect for me because I forgave him and wanted to make it work.
I have 4 kids from previous relationships- he "wanted" to be Dad to them. He was a good Dad- until this last year. Don't know what exactly happened recently- but he won't talk, doesn't want to try marriage counseling, says it has become easier to lie to me than just tell the truth. My heart is breaking. I am now on medication to help me eat and sleep, I cry all the time, I loved this man so much that I have spent the last 11 years of my life with him- to find that he doesn't even want to try anymore.
I know that I have to let go. You cannot make a marriage work when only one is trying. How can I forget the pain and go on? I love him so much that even after all the pain- even though it is raw and fresh- if he asked me to try again I would.
I have 1 child left at home, the others have grown up and moved on. So, I know that for her I have to try to lead a somewhat "normal" life.
I have 4 kids from previous relationships- he "wanted" to be Dad to them. He was a good Dad- until this last year. Don't know what exactly happened recently- but he won't talk, doesn't want to try marriage counseling, says it has become easier to lie to me than just tell the truth. My heart is breaking. I am now on medication to help me eat and sleep, I cry all the time, I loved this man so much that I have spent the last 11 years of my life with him- to find that he doesn't even want to try anymore.
I know that I have to let go. You cannot make a marriage work when only one is trying. How can I forget the pain and go on? I love him so much that even after all the pain- even though it is raw and fresh- if he asked me to try again I would.
I have 1 child left at home, the others have grown up and moved on. So, I know that for her I have to try to lead a somewhat "normal" life.
