I can see his house from mine

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
I can see his house from mine
7
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 9:21am

It’s been a relief to read all your letters, you’re all so brave and wonderful.


I need some advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Tue, 05-27-2008 - 9:22pm

It IS your home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
Tue, 06-03-2008 - 8:58pm

thanks buckeyegold.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Wed, 06-04-2008 - 4:51am

It works both ways girl! Wait until he sees a man coming and going out of your place :)


And your day will come :) My EX is seeing a woman and moving in together after 8 months, she just left her husband in October and they immediately started a serious relationships.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 7:11am

Goddess,


Read through some old posts and saw yours but haven't seen you in a while.


I have a similar situation where STBX moved in town about 500 yards away. I can't see his apartment from mine, but will need to drive past it sometimes and can look up at his window if I let myself. He thought moving close to be near our son was a good thing. While I see his point of view, it makes it harder for me to get over him. I've even contemplated thoughts that he has now ruined this town for me, which is now my home and I love it here.


That proximity of our x's will keep us from moving on if we let it. Can you put up a curtain or something to block your view of his place? That really, really stinks that you can see their cars. And I wouldn't put it past the OW to figure out that you can see her, too. ANd if she's jealous, she's probably not feeling that great either. Threatened with you so close.


This back and forth with your x must be confusing to you, and I know because I tried to ride the wave of my STBX's half in half out commitment for 3 years until a couple of months ago he put his foot down and said he we needed to move on. I don't know if I could have seen the future back then if I would have even let go then, I just wanted to be with him and keep my family together and was willing to take the crumbs he was giving me.


You deserve more than crumbs, more than indecicision. I am wondering how you've been as it's been a while since your post. Hopefully you're not looking out that second story window anymore.


bp

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 12:33pm

Goddess,


I have two suggestions:


1)Stop looking out the upper story window. What you don't see can't hurt you. ;-)


2)Redecorate-relandscape. Time to make "our house" your house. You don't have to spend a ton of cash. Start with one room. Change the paint color on the walls or the trim. Buy a new piece of furniture (or an old one at a flea market). Hang a new picture. Clean out your closets, have a garage sale, relandscape the yard (maybe add a couple of potted plants on the porch or sidewalk, or rip out the old hedges and replant new things). Whatever you define as renewal.


The basic idea is to claim the space as your own. This is important for those who divorce as those are widowed. It's a way to start over in the same space.


As for the EX. If he ever proposes "trying again?" Tell him: "No, thanks. I'm happy now." And leave it at that. Sounds like he's got bigger problems if his GF is jealous of you! HA!


iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 2:36pm

Hey wisdom tooth,


Thanks for your advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
Tue, 06-17-2008 - 2:42pm

BP,


Thanks for your words of empathy.


Thankfully, it looks like my