Lilly, we are in similar boats. mine is verbally and emotionally abusive. he is the sole breadwinner and I stay home iwht the kids. my youngest was diagnosed this year with selective mutism and so obviously has special needs. we share the marital residence, in separate rooms as well. our house just sold, as long as it passes inspection. I also thought it would allow me to "move on" but I now realize that he has even more control over me. His "allowance" to me will determine where/how I can live. He also wanted to live the life of a batchelor, partying and going on solo vacations, leaving me with the children. He has even gone so far as to conceal very large annual bonuses and I suspect he has had affairs. I dont have much advice, just an offer of friendship, and to let you know that you are not alone.
Lilly