asked dh for a separation
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| Sun, 06-01-2008 - 5:08pm |
Hi
i asked my husband for a separation because this time last year i registered our cell phone accounts online and noticed a number on bill about 7x a day. From early in the morning till late at night. i called the number and she claims they're just friends and he claims that he met her before me. once i found out she was pregnant i wondered if it was my husbands. she had the baby last Oct and i saw the child when it was 3mos old and it didn't look nothing like my husband. he already has 3 kids and all of them look just like him. So i found out that my husband was going grocery shopping with her....somethin he never does with me. Her and the baby daddy are having problems so she asked dh to baby sit. He didn't even bother to ask me. brought the child back to our house. even went to her house and sat with the baby and dropped him off to daycare because she worked crazy hours. WTF! These two are disrespecting me and dh doesnt see nothing wrong with it. They sit on the phone all day and late at nite. he comes to bed on the phone and trys to throw me off by responding to her "man you crazy" yet i hear a womans voice talking. He'll walk in the door past me without greeting me and back out the door. We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary and we sat in the house the entire 4 days and did nothing. Only time he recognized me is when he wants something to eat or when its time for boring sex.
We've been having problems since we've been together 7 years. And its all because of lack of communication. He doesn't talk to me about nothing thats going on in his life. says that i'm not on his level and disappears without telling me where hes going. Goes clubbing on the weekend. hes 36 and i'm 27 thank god we don't have kids together. He doesn't spend time with me or his kids. the only person he has time for is this chick. When I told him that i wanted to separate its like hes been waiting all along for me to say it. he would rather make me miserable than for him to be a man and end things. Told me that hes not a homebody and that i need a man in my life because hes not the one for me. He even had the nerve to say that i was jeolous of the chick he talks to on the phone. WTF! I'm not jeolous i'm mad because its disrespectful and i would never do that to him. Besides he says that hes grown and that i don't own him. He needs a woman that wants the same things he wants out of life..(ie.... if he works overtime than i should be working over time too or get a 2nd job) i quit my 2nd job in Feb because i plan on goin back to school in the Fall to pursue a BA degree and he told me I was stupid. he doesn't believe in education, and ever since i quit that 2nd job hes been giving me hell about finances and being mean to me. You know its something because hes never worked a 2nd job but since my first job didn't offer over time he nagged me last year about getting a 2nd job which i did for a year. While i was in the streets late at night working he was at home relaxing on the phone. And said that he aint taking care of no woman. he blames me for everything thats going wrong in his life. Our lease is up in Aug and i just can't imagaine spending another year with this man. He doesnt respect me and he doesn't treat me like a wife. I'm tired of cooking and cleaning up after him or let him talk to me like that. Let that chick do it because i refuse to let this man use me anymore. I'm going back to school and we'll see who will come out on top. We were planning on applying for a mortgage next month. Im so glad that we didn't!
How did you handle the finance situation? i can't afford to get my own place because of me wanting to go back to school. I'll have to move in with someone else and be their roommate. I'm so scared because i have no family that lives here and i've never lived alone. sigh! Any advice about where to go from here would be appreciated.
thank you for listening.

Hi Skylar,
I dont really have a whole lot of advice for you just sounds like such a familiar situation (except I dont think my stbx was having an affair).
Are you married to my husband???