So Confused!
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So Confused!
| Wed, 06-04-2008 - 10:51pm |
Well, my husband and I reached an agreement on me buying out the house.
| Wed, 06-04-2008 - 10:51pm |
Well, my husband and I reached an agreement on me buying out the house.
Buckeye, I think it possible to feel so many of these up and down emotions because it's part of the healing process. These alcoholics work us over, especially mentally. That is part of their ammo. "Make her think she's the crazy one" or "She the one that's causing this" or "This is her fault." That is all BS. But, unfortunately it's what we have our minds wrapped around right now after so long with them. And it's going to take time to come to terms with the ending of our marriage, the feeling that our family is broken, the loss our our dreams and all that other stuff that ends when divorce is the only option. I'm there too. And honestly I feel a little phycho some days when I have such mood swings. But I know I'm not...
We just need to let ourselves feel these way, accept that it's part of the healing and 'finding ourselves' process again. And little by little the good days will be longer, the bad days will be shorter and fewer in between. Let's hang in there together! Because I know, this really does feel overwhelming and it stinks! You're doing a GREAT job!!
BIG hugs Buck!! Big hugs!
Hey,
That feeling of hopelessness is normal.
Glad you reached an agreement buckeye! I'm still waiting for the paperwork on mine to appear from stbx's lawyer. I am excited as well to own the home on my own. He is supposed to be just signing over the house to me (hasn't been in the house for over four months and hasn't paid for anything for over a year). We will see if he sticks to his word (you know how those alcoholics are!)
I have been taking care of everything now for a few months, and I can tell you at first I was completely overwhelmed. The weekend I kicked him out in January was the biggest snowstorm ever. I have a big long driveway, and I was in TEARS! Thankfully a neighbour down the road appeared with his tractor and dug me out. It seems with the change in the seasons come new challenges for me. That's how I look at them now. I am learning how to change my own oil, and check all the fluids in my truck (never had to worry about that before). I also got my lawnmower tuned up and have managed to keep up with the grass growing! Amazing how when you are almost 50, you don't know how to do these things!
Hang in there, because you will have up and down days for sure (I know I do!) Rediscovering who you once were before all the abuse and manipulation is an exciting time--but also emotionally draining--for me, realizing the crap I put up with for so many years is daunting :( We are strong women (we finally did realize we didn't deserve what we were putting up with afterall) and will get through this...tomorrow is a new day!
Hang in there.