how far can your spouse's lawyer go

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
how far can your spouse's lawyer go
11
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 7:24am

Two days ago I was blown away by a deposition I was required to give at my husband's lawyer's office. My lawyer told me it should take about an hour-3 1/2 hours later it was finally ended with the statement-we'll see you in court.


Long story short-I was surprised with a divorce request from my husband of almost 30 years-I had hoped for an Alaskan cruise as a gift for the anniversary and instead will get a divorce. (In fairness, in the past I had never received more than an occasional dinner out so the divorce is the most expensive gift he's given me.) My husband had already seen a lawyer before broaching the subject with me-then closed our joint bank acct. and cut up all our credit cards leaving me with no money to get my own lawyer. He moved into the spare bedroom expecting up to live together until the house sold and be great friends when all this was behind us. The spine I never knew I had stepped up to the plate and kicked him out-I found a lawyer who would hold my grandmother's diamond ring as collateral filed for divorce and took him to court for emergency support-small alimony and 1/2 the monthly mortgage. I had retired after teaching 30 years 7 months before his request making me a liability financially-he

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2003
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 10:17am

Hi Daisy,


Welcome to divorce court!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 11:05am

I have been a lawyer for 25 yrs, doing divorces for most of that time, and I have to say that lawyers like that make me sick and give a bad name to the profession.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 11:40am

Thanks for info from a lawyer's point of reference. My counselor agrees with you that my husband has a lawyer exactly like he is-very controlling. My lawyer is such a gentleman

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 12:06pm

It's ironic that he complained that you spent too much time working & going to school, then when you retired you weren't earning enough.


I had this one case where I represented the husband.

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 4:11pm

Feel for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-15-2004
Fri, 06-06-2008 - 11:53pm

Let me tell you - I am DISGUSTED w/ the court system. I have been yelled at & accused by my X's att. My was abusive, an alcoholic & rarely worked. I finally got the nerve to divorce him when he seriously threatened my life. I have had to deal w/ his atty accusing ME of lying,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Sat, 06-07-2008 - 8:46am

I hate lawyers!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 6:40am

The good ones we don't hear about nearly enough--because they quietly and professionally go about their jobs :)


I can't wait to see who my AH ends up with--his DUI attorney is a snack in the grass, but he doesn't practice family law. I'm sure he has friends though.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 9:03am
Hi - i don't think it's illegal to take a spouse off of a retirement fund - can anyone confirm this?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Sun, 06-08-2008 - 11:29am
I can't confirm 100% but I don't think they can really remove you from anything (medical, pension, etc.) unless it is agreed upon in the divorce papers.

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