what would you "settle for"

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
what would you "settle for"
9
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 11:22am

After visiting the home for the 1st time since divorce process started, I did point out to my STBX that he was spending more in lawyer fees, especially if this goes to the trial jury it looks like his lawyer is pushing for, than I would have settled for he asked, "what would

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 11:33am

I think you need to spend some time thinking about what you really want.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 3:01pm

He wants to have the house on the market, actually wanted it on the market the day he asked me for a divorce-I've held out since I hated to sell in this market and at first just couldn't stand the thought of losing what I had sacrificed for for 30 years and there are repairs to make to get it ready for sale (all of which are falling on me). My lawyer is using it as a bargaining chip since my husband says he can't afford to pay me alimony since he makes so little. I thought I wanted to keep it but each day in it is harder and harder. It is 10 miles from the nearest town which was great when we were both here but extremely lonely now. I spent a couple of days with a friend at a beach and could not believe how liberating it was not to be here which put me back into a huge backslide when I came home. It has become very difficult to keep up with bills even with the judge at the temp. hearing

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 3:50pm

I assume that March is the date of separation but most of the time, they do it as of the date the papers are signed or the date of the divorce.


I am ambivalent about what to do w/ my house also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 4:09pm

Your situation is much more difficult with a son at home. Neither of my boys grew up in this house-we built it as a retirement home-which is why it has been hard to let go. I feel like I worked so hard to get to this perfect place. We only built the house 5 years ago so for my STBX to say he's been suffering for 30 years makes so little sense. Why then go to this expense? The kids have pointed out there are many other houses on lakes that will not have the memories attached and since they have both migrated north I would like to

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 06-10-2008 - 4:28pm

It's kind of funny that I have what can be a kind of stressful job, but I am much happier at work than at home.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2003
Wed, 06-11-2008 - 11:57am

Hey there daisymaes_mom,


Sadly, all of the events leading to the point of divorce are typically irrelevant, as in water under the bridge.

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 06-11-2008 - 8:16pm

Hey,

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2008
Thu, 06-12-2008 - 12:24am

Do you have an attorney?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Thu, 06-12-2008 - 8:52am

Obsurdly enough, it is my husband's claim that he always drank while we were married-I went back to old bank statements since