When will I stop crying
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When will I stop crying
| Thu, 06-12-2008 - 1:24am |
If one more person tells me it takes time, I'm going to scream!!:) My husband walked out 9 months ago and we have been divorced since February. It still feels so surreal. I was completely shocked and devastated and to this day do not know what happened. He just left without a word as to why and I've been trying to pick up the pieces ever since. We were married for 13 years, no kids. I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2005 and have struggled with my fears and issues with body self image and then this . . . I sometimes feel so lost, hopeless and sad that I find it nearly impossible to just breathe. It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest. I really do understand that the only thing that can help is time, but the pain can be so hard to deal with that I want to give up. Thanks for listening.

Can you take a break from work and any other commitments that you have at the moment?
If so, maybe a nice bed and breakfast or a friends holiday home
I'm so sorry for your pain.
Kennedysaunt, your post is an inspiration. You eloquently put into words what perhaps all of us feel, and for me, I find it quite hard to verbalize the enormity of it. Be assured that what you are feeling is quite normal.
That certainly doesn't make it any better, but know that many here are feeling the EXACT same thing, and so many of them go on to later post about their new life/love and how much HAPPIER they are. I'm not there...yet, but I do know that I'm getting better. I have good days and bad days, but the days of wanting to "off" my self are gone, and it can only get better from here! The actions of those who have devastated you may never be explained or make sense, but know that you can only control YOUR behavior; do not act out or do something you will later regret!
My 2 cents: don't ever try to keep it in. Go to a safe place and cry. Cry out loud and scream if you need to. Trying to be strong only puts it off. You've been wronged in the biggest way imaginable and you hurt. It's no different than if you broke both legs. The recovery and associated pain would be substantial. So will this, but YOU WILL GET BETTER.
Lean on friends during this time. If you can't count on you friends during this crisis, then they aren't your friends.
God bless,
HMM
Kennedysaunt,
I just joined this message board tonight, and your post struck a chord with me.
misschem and all that replied to my post,
Thanks so much for your words of encouragement and support.
Hi there kennedysaunt,
Go ahead and scream.
I just want to give you a {{{{BIG HUG}}} I dont have anything to offer you unless you live in Oklahoma? I have no friends, at all, and dont know how to find any..so if you are anywhere close I would/could be your sounding board.
Lets see, 16 yrs married, in the middle of the divorce, raising my 5 yr old granddaughter. I left HIM, did okay for several months in a tiny apartment, then a car accident and loss of job plus a recent surgery placed me back into the marital home with HIM. I hate it here, his gf who lived here while I was gone and trashed the house (well her 2 pittbull puppies did and she didnt clean) still threatens me and comes by.
I am trying to find work and get back into my own place. He is an alcoholic and abusive...We do not have much to split but debt in this marriage, so I am having to start over at low wages and online college..not good when youre already 43!
I though I had my health, but thats going too....stress is the biggest factor. I didnt mean to ambush your posting, Just wanted you to know that there are a lot of women who understand!!
~Lisa =))