Anyone ever reconcile who remains happy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Anyone ever reconcile who remains happy?
2
Thu, 06-12-2008 - 5:42pm

Update from worstyear2008.


Husband of 10 years wanted out of the marriage on April 11th and said he was done. He wanted me to live on one end of the house and he live on the other end until it was sold. I told him I couldn't live that way and got an apartment. He moved me out and said how excited he was about it. When I asked him why he was done with the marriage, he said

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 3:21pm

I was just wondering if anyone out there reconciled and was glad that they did???? If not, why???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 5:28pm

Hi,


Yes, you can reconcile and be successful and happy in your marriage. It does take work and planning however!


First, I would advise you not to move back in together. Separate residences can be beneficial because it allows each of you to have your space - both breathing room and physical room.


Second, I wouldn't entertain any notion of reunion without marriage counseling. This can and should be jointly and possibly individually. It's important to view marriage counseling as a process of discovery - not to "fix" the other partner. So, I'd find a marriage counselor you are both comfortable with and go. Plan to invest time: 6 months or more. This isn't a surefire fix and it's not going to be a cureall.


Third, if you decide to reunite. I would maintain contact with your marriage counselor after you move back in together. Most marriages come to the point of divorce for reasons that have piled up over the years. Getting back together will take time too.


If you're willing to do the work (both of you) and you are able to commit to some long term hard work you may enjoy a revival of your marriage. the flip side is if you decide not to get back together you'll both be better equipped to move on with your separate lives.


Good luck and let us know how it's going.

CL-Wisdomtooth2020


Some commonly misspelled words on this board:


You're = contraction of "you are"; You're going away?

CL-Wisdomtooth2020