stop the ride I want to get off

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
stop the ride I want to get off
7
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 8:13am

Today is Friday and I am still replaying every derisive and humilating statement my STBX said to me Mon. when he came to fix a leak. I am so lucky that I didn't realize I really didn't have a legal right to kick him out of the house and amazed that he didn't know I couldn't have. I feel foolish maybe more stupid for allowing myself to get dragged right back into the place where

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 8:30am

Daisymaes Mom,


PLEASE listen to me, I took an overdose intentionally when my Ex left me with two small babies to take care of over 14 years ago.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 9:16am

Rachel,


What is so scary to me is that a week ago I sent a message very similar to the one I just received from you (thank you so much for it!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2007
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 9:26am

Don't you know its always easier to see the issue, problem, or dilema for someone ELSE, and be able to help steer them, however applying it to ourselves is not EASY.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-21-2004
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 11:30am

Hi.. I understand the desperation that you are facing.. It seems like it will never end.. But just keep in your head that it will... It will and you will look back and be disbelieving that you felt like this.. Please stop kicking yourself over what STBX said.. and don't let him back in to fix a leak, or a light, or anything as such!! He has issues on his own, and seems to be taking them out on you... Some may disagree with me, but I feel like you did the right thing on Wednesday.. I can understand the guilt in calling your son.. but if he's 18 hours away, I assume he is an adult.. and one that cares about you.. In calling someone who cares about you, you did the right thing.. He helped you get through right??

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 11:34am

I thought of a theme song too:

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 12:58pm

Both of my sons are adults though as a mom they will always be my little boys-(they would cringe at that thought) I was fortunate to use one of my lifelines and phoned a friend after calling 911 and she stayed all that day and night as I was totally out of it. I had thought to give her a key to my house shortly after all this started and when she came in I was out of it with my purse on my lap wallet out and the yellow paper from the EMTs on my lap saying I had refused treatment. I honestly don't remember them leaving and it is horrifying to think what might have happened if she hadn't been able to get in.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-19-2001
Fri, 06-13-2008 - 1:39pm

Ahhh, I am so sorry you are going through this.


It is no doubt a terrifying & awful