Divorcing & Need Advise

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Divorcing & Need Advise
7
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 1:13am

I recently served my husband of 18 years with divorce papers.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-26-2008
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 6:50am

Hi, I am sorry you are going through this. This board will help. Many people have dealt with length of marriages as long as yours and messy, emotional break ups. Other women, etc.


If I were you I would first do some research on the internet about laws in your state. Also, if you have a support group where you are now and you like it there I would grab hold of that and start from there. If you already know that you are happy in your new area, and wouldn't want to move back to the old one, then fight for that.


Do you have family? Can anyone loan you the $ to finish up what you need for your cosmotology license? You have a tough road ahead, but right now you need to uncover every stone to see where the help is. You've filed for divorce in your new state, so I don't think he can automatically just have his way to move you back because he says it will be better for you all financially. It sounds like you can't really count on anything from this man.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2008
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 8:12am

The other poster is right, about not having to move out of your current state since Divorce papers are filed there.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2008
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 8:35am

I agree with the others advising you to stay where you are-you have established a support base there and that is what you will need more than anything at this point. You also have completed your courses to be a cosmetologist where you are and that will go far in helping you meet more people and in supporting yourself financially. Your daughter, at 5, will be in school so day care may not be as costly and maybe you can structure your work hours around her.


Your husband is trying again to control you and make it appear you have to move or he won't support you. I wouldn't trust that he'd support you if you moved. He has proven he can and does lie. He says he wants to be in his daughter's life but I wonder if he is saying that so that you will feel warm and fuzzy about him. Any man who cheats twice and then wants to uproot the family twice in a year-it'd be very hard for me to trust.


My advice for what is worth is stand up for yourself and your daughter-You've taken a big step by filing for divorce but it

Avatar for iladyja
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 11:13am

My advise to you would be to research the info you need, like the other posts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 1:49pm

Wait - is what you're asking - "Should I stay here and divorce him if he insists on moving out of state, or should I move with him to keep the marriage"?


It sounds like you're wondering whether to divorce or not.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2006
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 2:59pm

Many thanks to everyone that replied to my post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2008
Sat, 06-14-2008 - 4:57pm
Yeah!! Good for you!!! Keep posting so we know how it's going and so you can get support :-)