The 1st couple weeks

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2008
The 1st couple weeks
4
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 9:07pm

My STBX and I agreed last week that we would split up after almost 8 yrs of marriage, we have 2 little kids. We agreed that it would be amicable, joint custody, we don't hate each other - you know, do this the "right way". Also agreed to take our time. Can't afford our house plus an apt. for him, so will try and sell the house and he will get a place nearby.

Well, within 48 hours of deciding this, he's done a 180. Is looking at apartments, saying maybe a condo and is saying that it is too weird and uncomfortable to be in the house still. This is just so strange, I don't anyone with kids, that has gotten a divorce and don't know where to turn to. And he wants to be difficult now. As far as I'm concerned this is over anyway, so trying to not fight/argue about stuff b/c what's the point, right? And now we have to get our house ready to list, which he does not seem the least bit inclined to help with.

How quickly do the spouses move out usually? What does joint custody really mean in practice? Ugh - I just wish that I could fast forward the clock and get past this part.




Edited 9/8/2008 9:29 pm ET by smwanedge
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
Mon, 09-08-2008 - 9:37pm
How old are the kids?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-08-2008
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 12:57pm

I am in IL and the kids are 2 and 5. It's interesting that you ask if there is another woman...I've wondered but am not sure if I care at this point. If I knew that, I'm afraid that it would make me angry and vengeful (sp?) - and I really just want to end this as peacefully as possible.

This is all so foreign to me, I just don't know what we should be doing right now. The realtor came out and gave a suggested listing price, which was way higher than I thought it would be, so I was thrilled, but he also said average market time is 7-9 months in my town. I don't know if we can hold out that long and not hate each other yet we can't afford for him to get his own place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 2:41pm

I don't know if you want to price your house lower so you can sell it sooner.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2003
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 3:24pm

(for what it's worth.... unless he's tramping around the kids... whether or not he has another woman usually only makes YOU feel worse, and at this point, if that's what he chooses to do, then HE has to live with himself when he wakes up tomorrow... and the next day... and the next).


Breathe......


Karen ~ wildlucky4me

Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~