anybody else have this problem

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
anybody else have this problem
7
Tue, 09-09-2008 - 9:15pm

I am 8 months into a separation and likely only a few short weeks away from divorce.My long story made short - summer of 2005 I knew and then had confirmed that he was having an affair - both emotional and physical. At that time my mom was dying of cancer so I didn't kick him out - gave him the chance. We had three years of off again - then I'd find out - on again affair with the final straw me finding out in Nov '07 he was at it again. Made him move out and filed for divorce.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 11:50am
No, I haven't had this problem but maybe you need to take the drastic step of cutting off all communication w/ your ex unless it has to do w/ the kids.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 1:47pm
I am going through the same thing. Its been almost
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 6:48pm

sounds so familiar - took kicking his backside out for him to realize the grass was oky at home. But by then the damage was done for me. No contact is a great idea but small town and wanting the kids to have a good relationship with him make that difficult. I have wanted to avoid that step but getting there quickly


I have told him be happy with her and we can move on, be friends - but now SHE has too much baggage andhe does not want this - three !#@@! years and now she has the baggage -


how is it they don't realize this before messing things up!??


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-15-2006
Wed, 09-10-2008 - 8:08pm
Looks like karma kicked them both in the a$$. And every time they are depressed they come running back to who.... their exwife.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 10:22am

sounds like we have different but similar circumstances - when I first had 100% confirmation in 2005 what was going on my mother was dieing from cancer. He knew I needed him but he kept in touch with her...which I found out again and again


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2008
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 10:51am

I am having this problem also.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-30-2007
Tue, 09-16-2008 - 2:30pm

my computer's been down so I hadn;t seen your reply


Likely there is no solve - it's an odd comfort to know others understand althoug I wish no one else had to go through this


Today I am having people work on the house and he has been a but-in-ski and while sticking his nose in a real schmuck - says it's driving him crazy - tough is my attitude and I am plugging along. That's on the outside - it continues to be very difficult internally - but massage plus some counseling seems to keep me on an even keel


My life's book will have a couple of chapters devoted to the amount of thinking ahead men DON'T do - so little ability to look through the end result of an action - or at least the one I have been married to


Can't wait for the divirce to be final - although I imagine it will not end things just change them


I just want life to get simpler!


Thanks for listening