Just had a bad confrontation with STBX!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Just had a bad confrontation with STBX!!
3
Sat, 09-13-2008 - 8:41pm
So STBX just came to get our DD for an overnight visit. He usually picks her up at 9am but had a game so he said he couldn't pick her up until the afternoon. I told him I'd keep her until 6 so I could take her to a pumpkin farm that was having a fall festival. He showed up at 6:20 and came in the door cussing at me. He wanted to know exactly when we got home. This ticked me off so I told him it was none off his business- I didn't have to check in with him. The whole time he was cussing at me and yelling and I kept telling him not to talk to me like that in front of our daughter. He was saying really derogatory things and I didn't lose my cool. He also told me I couldn't take her to church tomorrow, even though we previously agreed. I'm so sick and fed up with him. I've asked him repeatedly to save discussions regarding custody and the divorce proceedings for our court hearing. I've tried everything in my power to be amicable with him and he still treats me like that in front of our daughter. At this point I don't want any contact with him- can I get a restraining order after what he did? I also will add that we don't have a custody agreement yet. I've really tried to push him to have more time with our DD, but he's "too busy". I take care of her during the week, work full time, and go to school part time. In turn, he's living on his brother's couch, and doesn't even call to tell his daughter goodnight like he told her he would. I'm beyond frustrated! I just want him out of my life completely and if I could have the divorce finalized this instant I would! UHHHHHH!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2008
Mon, 09-15-2008 - 3:30pm




I'm not sure about a restraining order but you can certainly demand a different way of communication between the two of you.




iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Wed, 09-17-2008 - 11:20pm
This reply is way late, but I did want to let you know that minutes after I posted that message, he actually came back to apologize. I was in shock! I felt vindicated and it's bizarre that he couldn't do that while we were married. I finally feel 100% comfortable standing up for myself, and I told him he can think whatever he wants to think about me, but that he will respect me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2008
Sun, 09-21-2008 - 6:08pm
i am not sure you have legal grounds for a restraining order, but i would report the encounter to your divorce attorney. maybe you can get someone to be the third party so that you don't have to see him at all except for hearings, someone to take your daughter to your stbx and someone to pick her up. just an idea. i had to cease all contact with my ex because he is abusive, and so i just referred all of his nit picky complaints to a third party. i represented myself, so an attorney wasn't an option for me. i refused to take his calls or emails, and changed my number so that he wouldn't be able to harass me over the phone. he would call and hang up multiple times in a night, so much that i had to take the entire phone off the hook! and dont talk to him by yourself. try at all times to have a family member or a friend if you have to see him. his screaming at you and cussing really send up warning flares in my head. please take care.