Custody
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Custody
| Mon, 09-15-2008 - 10:51pm |
My husband and I decided to separate this past July. Since then we are still living in the same house as we try to save some money so one of us can move out soon. We have two children, 17 and almost 10. He thinks we should have 50/50 custody of both kids and I should be the one to move out of the house as he makes more money than me and doesn't want to leave the dogs (3 of them). My daughter (17) has told me she does not want to stay in the house with her dad. I'm not so sure our son does either. For as long as we've been together (about 20 yrs now), he has been very emotionally if not mentally unstable, going through bouts of depression. I

My 2 cents is to find a lawyer and discuss all this.
For what it's worth.... my XH isn't all that mentally stable and I wish I'd known when we separated because I NEVER would have agreed to joint custody.
He started dating very soon after we separated and married 7 months after our divorce was final. He had a bought of depression for which he was hospitalized. He divorced wife #2 and took up with wife #3 within minutes of that separation and married her 11 months later. My kids have lived in 4 houses with him...... they're in therapy, but I wish things were different. I wish I could have protected them more than I did.
~calla~ mom to rosie and gracie
Since your DD is 17, she will basically get to decide where she is going to live.
hey,
My opinion is that threats of suicide should be taken seriously.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
My $0.02 is to get an attorney and do NOT move out of that house. If the children do not feel comfortable there, with him, why should you go rent an apt. for three when the three of you could stay in the home and he could move out?
GL...mental illness/instability must be a nightmare to deal with--alcoholism (and probably some instability) isn't any fun either (my STBX's situation), but I feel for you.
Edited 9/17/2008 6:52 am ET by movingonthistime
Thanks for the replies. I am trying to document his behavior by keeping most of the many emails he sends me at work. With him everything is DRAMA and that is what I'm really looking forward to getting away from. He thinks we can't afford to divorce because of the current economy and our finances. I think if he moves out and gets the apt and visitation every other weekend, he could afford to give me more child support and we would be fine. I'm just afraid of confrontation and am not looking forward to having this discussion.
I haven't been more forceful about him getting psych. treatment or calling 911 on him (like when he grabs a bunch of pills from the bathroom and threatens to take them all - it all likes like just his way of being dramatic) because I'd be worried about him losing his job (because of his clearance - govt. contractor). But I guess I should at least document everything and use it in my argument.
I'm not too worried about my daughter. She gets to leave this situation in less than a year - but our son seems pretty fragile sometimes and he seems to want to confide in me and do things with me and not his dad. I think he's a little afraid of him. But that could also be because his dad has always been more the disciplinarian and much louder than me.
Thanks for the advice though. I wish I could afford a lawyer!