At the end of my rope...

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
At the end of my rope...
4
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 7:07pm
Well, I was officially laid of today. Of course the jerks let me work half the day and then "let me go". In addition, I'm a salaried employee and I would've been paid $1200 on Wednesday, but I was given my last check today for $132-yes you read that right. So I essentially worked a full month, full-time, for $132. This place isn't some shady operation either! It's a charter school. I had heard rumors in the past that they could be shady about paying salaried when people are "let go" but I never in a million years expected that. So, I essentially have $132 for the month and no job. I didn't think I feel more low than when my husband left, but boy was I wrong! Now I have no husband AND no job! What next?! I've spent the better part of the day in tears. Then my STBX showed up to pick up DD to take her to one of the sporting events in which he's a coach. After he left I just felt numb. I am so baffled at how he could just cut me out of his life. After all the hurtful things that he has done, I still love him and I hate that. I want to move on like he did. I want to be happy like he is. I want to let go like he did. Instead, I'm the one holding on and can't let go. I feel like such a failure as a mother and human being. My life I had anticipated is completely gone. I went from being upper middle class in September to being an unemployed single mother just a month later. Now I'm just a step away from being on welfare If it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone. I know you're all going through your own hard times, but please pray for me and my daughter.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 9:13pm

My stbx became a heartless monster that left me penniless in the end too.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 10:18pm
Thank you SO much. Having everyone to talk to on this board has been a absolute lifesaver. Unfortunately, the only divorce recovery group in my area meets just once a month (come on! If the div. rate is 50% they should have meetings every day!!). I realized that maybe things do happen for a reason. I admit that this job was not my dream job. I was actually in the process of finding a better paying job- I guess they just beat me to the punch. I also admit that I wasn't the happiest in my marriage. STBX was unaffectionate, cold at times, and had a general lack of concern. My greatest example was in December 2006 I was pregnant with our 2nd child. At nearly 5 months I had a miscarriage. This happened while he was out of town (he was a coach). I expected him to at least attempt to come home, but he didn't even try. The day I found out I was having a miscarriage, later in the night he called me. He told me that he was drinking and playing cards with the guys he coached and coached with. I was stunned. Long story short, the miscarriage didn't happen naturally and I had to have an emergency D&C and lost 25% of my blood. His reaction through the entire process was that we was totally distant. The day after the D&C I had a painful reaction to the anesthesia; I literally could not even move my head without having the worst pain ever. I knew I needed to see the Dr. immediately and again he was totally put off, and wouldn't even help me with our DD who was a toddler at the time. Truthfully, I think after that I in a way checked out od the marriage. In his eyes he was a perfect husband and I'm exhausted at trying to make him see what he did wrong- I accept that that will never happen. I'm trying to be strong and truly hoping that there's a light at the end of the tunnel, but good lord my faith has been put to the test. I just pray that this is the worst day. By the way, the last line of the poem really stood out- "I am the captain of my soul".
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 10:23am
I am very confused about why you are not getting your full pay for this month if you have worked most of the month--please check w/ the unemployment office to make sure your employer isn't trying to cheat you, and file for unemployment right away.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 4:12pm

So....