First Weekend Alone

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2008
First Weekend Alone
6
Fri, 09-26-2008 - 9:08pm

My husband and I just separated. It was so hard I thought he loved me and everything seemed so great this year and then he said he had been thinking about leaving me for some time already. He said he just wasn't in love with me anymore....total shocker. We have a 3 year old daughter whom he loves so much he is a great father and he didn't even hesitate about having me take her. We (daughter and I) moved into my parents home on sunday. He had been acting like evrything was fine but he cried that day since he had to take us there. He told me he wants 9 months to see if things change???? How do you decide on time and what does he mean if things change???


It has been soo hard this week without him for both me and my daughter who doesn't seem to understand whats going on. He called a couple of times this week just to talk small chit chat about his work. Today he picked her up and I asked him if I could atleast have a hug and he said sure so he leans over for me to hug him.... wtf that was such a diss. Then he tells me he will drop our daughter off tomorrow night??? I can't believe he is not interested in keeping her the full weekend. He absolutely loves his daughter and I thought he would be hurting over not having her but I guess he doesn't care.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Sat, 09-27-2008 - 12:46pm

Do you think there's a possibility of another woman in the picture?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 11:18am
Yeah that was my first thought too. I feel so lost part of me wants to try to win him back and part of me is afraid of calling him and annoying him and pushing him further away. He called me a few times when he had her. Saturday he took her to a picnic the friends were having at the park. He called me from there just to tell me they were having fun. Then he called to tell me he was dropping her off already at my moms (I was at work) then he calls me to tell me he had droppe her off already and that he had bought 3 shirts from the pic nic event 2 for our daughter and 1 for me??? I don't understand his actions they make me so confused. Should I be trying more? And if so how?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2005
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 12:13pm
I wouldn't try to "win" him back by chasing or begging him because human nature is to run away when being pushed.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 2:22pm

Hi


I am going through the same thing this weekend. Two weeks ago husband announced he wants a divorce, doesn't love me etc. Our relationship was rocky so it did not come as a total surprise, but I really did not want this for myself or the kids which are 12 and 8. We split up

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 8:30pm

I keep hearing that from all my friends. "Just give him time and space" It is so hard to do, I feel like if I sit back and do nothing and just carry on that he will think that I don't care. My daughter was crying this morning and she told me it was because her heart hurt.... :( that just broke my heart. She asked to talk to her daddy so I called him and gave her the phone. It made her smile and then I got to talk to him. I asked him if it would be ok to call him every now and then or if he felt it would be best not to... he said


"sure you can call me if you need to talk, just none of that lovey dovey stuff because it's not happening right now"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-01-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 11:33pm
The first weekend is awful. My husband has had my kids two weekends now. The first I occupied myself to try and avoid thinking about it, but it didn't work. When my husband brought the kids home he complained about how much noise they made. He hadn't really been with them in a month and after one day he was complaining. It just irritated me. The second weekend was a little better, but that day I just stayed home and enjoyed a day in my house to myself. I was very non-responsive to him when he dropped them off which bugged him a little, although he did ask if I was ok and that was a first since we separated (6 wks at that point). Anyway, it's tough but it will get easier.