How am I going to Survive this???

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2008
How am I going to Survive this???
3
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 2:46pm
My husband announced 2 weeks ago that he wants a divorce after 13 years of marriage. We have had a rocky road over the 13 years with him being an avoider of conflict and me trying to work things out. I was the persistent one and he was the close up like a turtle in shell person so not a good combination. 2 years ago there was an affair and I thought that since things were so
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-24-2008
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 5:55pm

Your story sounds so familiar to me. I stayed in my marriage for years trying to work things out after his affair and eventually he left (another affair) I didn't know how I was going to make it. My kids were 2 and 6 at the time. You are going to have so many emotions during this time and it can all be confusing. For me I had to get a second job and I basically just went through the motions of life. It was a struggle and I can't tell you how many days and/or nights that I took a shower to hide my crying from my kids. I even waited 2 years before we got a divorce because I was so worried about my kids. I wanted my family together and my kids deserved that!!


I am now divorced for 2 years and my kids (now 11 and 7) are thriving. It took me a LONG time to come to the realization that it is okay to hurt and it is okay to talk about the fact that you are sad with your children. They are old enough to understand that things happen but you will all be okay. I had to learn to "let go". That was very hard for me.


This is all so new for you and I just want you to know that you will survive and so will your kids. It is a journey but if you take one day at a time at some point you will start to have more good days than bad and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I wish you all the best!


Chernsoren

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 7:14pm
I know this is terribly hard for you now.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Sun, 09-28-2008 - 8:35pm

My heart goes out to you.