Filling the void (newbie)

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
Filling the void (newbie)
4
Mon, 09-29-2008 - 9:42pm

I got divorced 2 months ago. She was cheating on me. We gave counceling an honest effort but it just didn't work out.


We were married for 6 years and together for 10 years. Although the spark was gone in the marriage for a long time.


There were no kids involved and it was an amicable divorce.


Now how do I fill the void left in my hart?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 12:45am
There are groups for people who are divorced look it up online in your area. That will help you alot and who knows maybe you will meet someone there. Also there are single groups and if you are into church they have them there too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 09-30-2008 - 10:40am
Do you have any male friends to hang out with? I know that this is a stereotype, but it seems like married women still keep their friends while a lot of married men think that their wives will fulfil all their needs so they don't keep any guy friends, then they are lost. I can see this w/ my STBX, that he really has no friends. You have to think of the kind of things that you like to do--do you like sports? Join a team or a gym. Go to a neighborhood bar (not a dive type) and watch the game and start talking to other people. Join a club to do something that interests you. I think that when you start focusing on just being around other people and making friends and not so much on finding another woman, then your life starts being filled up w/ activity and then you are happier, and not lonely.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-25-2006
Wed, 10-01-2008 - 8:04am

Mju,


Welcome to the board. We hope you find support and advice here. It's a great place to vent and share experiences.


You know something? Divorce is a huge rejection especially when it follows on the heels of betrayal. It's only natural to feel very lonely after a marriage ends under these circumstances (or any circumstances). Dealing with being "single again" is tough. It's double hard for us married folks because we know what we're missing!


That said my first bit of advice is NOT to run out and start dating. Nope! Being lonely is not a good reason to seek romance - even a one night stand - because you are wounded. You need time to heal and recover. Wounded people do not make good partners. Also, you stand a good chance of meeting up with another wounded soul. You know what that looks like? Your

CL-Wisdomtooth2020

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-29-2008
Wed, 10-01-2008 - 8:50pm

Thank you everyone for your support and advice.


I know I can get through it but sometimes it's really tough.


One step at a time