It just doesn't look like things will work out w/ the new guy you met and I don't think you should write him a letter or contact him. He knows your phone number, right? If he wants to call you he will. I just think that if you keep calling him, you'll appear to be a stalker and will turn him off even more. It's one thing to be told "my husband is a violent drunk" and then to have the husband be driving by your apt. late and night and your friend is worried that he might get into a fight, and that if he continues his relationship w/ you, these things are going to happen in the future. Can you really promise that your DH will never do something like that again? Not really. Your new friend might just think that there are plenty of women who don't have these issues that he would have to deal with so why not just get out of this situation now? Frankly, if I started dating a guy and he told me he had a crazy or violent ex who might show up drunk at the house every now & then & cause problems, I would just say forget it, I just don't need that kind of hassle.
Frankly, at this point, I think you should be concentrating on getting the divorce and freeing yourself from the STBX. Then after you are completely healed from the abusive marriage, then you can look into getting into a healthy new relationship. I think jumping right from having your husband leave you into meeting someone else is a way not to have to deal w/ the end of your marriage.
Hi. Welcome to the board. We hope you find support and advice here that you find helpful.
You know something? You've had a "rebound" relationship. So, take a lesson from what happened and don't get involved with anyone else right now. You're too wounded and vunerable to make good judgements about anything right now, least of all a new relationship.
Yes, we all know how hard it is to survive the rejection of divorce. It's horribly lonely and your self-esteem may be at an all time low. This isn't the time to start a new relationship. You need to process your divorce and heal your emotional wounds first. This takes time. That time is very important to your future. The time you spend healing now will make you a better candidate for relationships in the future. You'll more easily recognize unhealthy people and be able to pass them up for a person whose got themselves together.
While it sucks to be solo it can be a great time of self-discovery and recovery. Start by finding a support group for divorcing people and if possible, a therapist for one-on-one counseling. You have issues you need to face so you can heal and make better choices about your future relationships. I say this because it sounds like you're still dating men who drink themselves drunk. You'll find yourself right back where you are now with a different drinker instead of in a healthy relationship with someone who is whole.
Believe me it's worth it.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Some commonly misspelled words on this board:
You're = contraction of "you are"; You're going away?
It just doesn't look like things will work out w/ the new guy you met and I don't think you should write him a letter or contact him. He knows your phone number, right? If he wants to call you he will. I just think that if you keep calling him, you'll appear to be a stalker and will turn him off even more. It's one thing to be told "my husband is a violent drunk" and then to have the husband be driving by your apt. late and night and your friend is worried that he might get into a fight, and that if he continues his relationship w/ you, these things are going to happen in the future. Can you really promise that your DH will never do something like that again? Not really. Your new friend might just think that there are plenty of women who don't have these issues that he would have to deal with so why not just get out of this situation now? Frankly, if I started dating a guy and he told me he had a crazy or violent ex who might show up drunk at the house every now & then & cause problems, I would just say forget it, I just don't need that kind of hassle.
Frankly, at this point, I think you should be concentrating on getting the divorce and freeing yourself from the STBX. Then after you are completely healed from the abusive marriage, then you can look into getting into a healthy new relationship. I think jumping right from having your husband leave you into meeting someone else is a way not to have to deal w/ the end of your marriage.
Emerging,
Hi. Welcome to the board. We hope you find support and advice here that you find helpful.
You know something? You've had a "rebound" relationship. So, take a lesson from what happened and don't get involved with anyone else right now. You're too wounded and vunerable to make good judgements about anything right now, least of all a new relationship.
Yes, we all know how hard it is to survive the rejection of divorce. It's horribly lonely and your self-esteem may be at an all time low. This isn't the time to start a new relationship. You need to process your divorce and heal your emotional wounds first. This takes time. That time is very important to your future. The time you spend healing now will make you a better candidate for relationships in the future. You'll more easily recognize unhealthy people and be able to pass them up for a person whose got themselves together.
While it sucks to be solo it can be a great time of self-discovery and recovery. Start by finding a support group for divorcing people and if possible, a therapist for one-on-one counseling. You have issues you need to face so you can heal and make better choices about your future relationships. I say this because it sounds like you're still dating men who drink themselves drunk. You'll find yourself right back where you are now with a different drinker instead of in a healthy relationship with someone who is whole.
Believe me it's worth it.
CL-Wisdomtooth2020
Some commonly misspelled words on this board:
You're = contraction of "you are"; You're going away?
CL-Wisdomtooth2020