What a jerk!!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
What a jerk!!!!
3
Wed, 10-08-2008 - 10:44pm
So, as some of you may already know I was laid off on Sept. 26th. My bank account balance after paying my lawyer the remainder of his retainer was $200. Well STBX had assured me that his life insurance was being set up so it taken out of his new account and not the joint one (he no longer contributes money to this account and only I use it). Lo and behold, yesterday $89 was taken out of my account. May not seem like alot but when it's all the money you have. He initially agreed that he'd go to an ATM and give me the money. Now he's refusing. Mind you all, per his financial affidavit he clears $2972 a month! And as far as the bills he did pay the gas, water, car and insurance (he's refusing to pay the mortgage- has the bright idea that bankruptcy is a good option even though the financial affidavit shows that we have $19,000 in assets! Granted it's all in the equity in our home and his 401k), so I know he had plenty of money, he's just being a jerk! He told me he won't give me the measly $89 because he paid those bills. When I told him I needed that money to live off of- buy groceries his response was that he'll buy our DD groceries. I asked him what about me and he said it wasn't his problem. I swear I feel like the bottom has fallen out and it just won't stop. I've literally applied for 20 jobs and haven't even gotten a phone call. When is this going to stop? When are things going to change? I do not know what to do anymore. I was the one who put off finishing college to raise our daughter, all while he finished his masters. What an idiot! Now I'm the one who can't even find a clerical job! What do I do? Please tell me it will get better.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 2:25pm

When is your court hearing for temporary support? Soon, I hope. Do you have any credit cards where you could at least buy food?

Do you have a lot of debt & is that why he said something about bankruptcy? Do you know that you could keep all $19,000 of your assets even though you are filing bankruptcy? It's not like you have to give back everything you own. But his income sounds kind of high for that. If he doesn't pay the mortgage & the bank forecloses, you might have to file bankruptcy to stop or delay it. I hope it doesn't come to that, cause there goes more money for legal fees.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:00pm
We have the temporary orders hearing on Oct. 20th, so until then I'm kinda stuck. And I don't have any credit cards and truly no family who can help (although my brother offered but I just can't accept help). Until then I'm in the process of listing some items on Ebay. As far as debt, we just have our mortgage and car payments, so truthfully the bankruptcy idea was odd and after I asked me lawyer he was stunned that that was even an idea. Truthfully, we own $10k on one car and $20k on the other. My STBX already agreed that he would keep the $20k car and allow me to keep the $10k car. All I can can surmise is that he wants a new truck (actually told me he's already looked) and found out that he's looking at a $700 car payment, but now he's heard that if he files bankruptcy his slate is wiped clear and he can get the new truck he wants. In addition, he's in no hurry to buy another house since he'll likely live with his parents long-term. Of course my lawyer absolutely advised against this and I will follow his advice. As far as the mortgage, when we bought the house he put the mortgage in his name only (stupid I know, but he said it was because I wasn't working) but the deed is in both of our names. I doubt that he will pay the mortgage; will that hurt me? I so badly want this over. It boggles my mind how someone you once loved more than anything can turn into your enemy or adversary.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
In reply to: mandi_d_o
Thu, 10-09-2008 - 3:36pm

If the mortgage is in his name only & you both own the house, then worst case scenario is if the bank forecloses, you will still lose the house, but if there is any deficiency, they will only be able to go after HIM! so he will only ruin his own credit, not yours, so the bankruptcy is a pretty stupid idea. What would be worse is if your 2 names were on the mortgage, but your name wasn't on the deed. You can get a court order for him to pay the mortage, or at least to pay c.s. & alimony and then you will pay the mortgage. You could have the payments direct deducted out of his paycheck.

I say that if your brother has offered to help you out, unless he is really broke & you think you will be taking food out of his mouth, now is the time to get help. You have no money for 10 days and you have to buy food. You can pay him back once you start getting money from your DH.