HIS girl problems!
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| Tue, 10-14-2008 - 11:06am |
So, quick summary - he left me after 13 years, two great kids (12 & 5) -- has been wanting to continue spending time/sleeping together when it suits him - of course, I've allowed it because I am a doormat when it comes to him, BUT...shortly after he left I saw him at the Browns game with a girl -- I believe that was divine intervention - that God wanted me to see it with my own eyes, after having "caught" him cheating many times over the years...anyway, he calls me yesterday and I could tell something was bothering him...well, he tells me that this same girl (who he originally told me was "just a friend") won't leave him alone....that she calls him all the time and that she actually went to the park on Sunday where he and I were with our daughter for the afternoon!

Here's my advice for how to get through it:
1) stop sleeping w/ him or having any kind of romantic interaction
2) stop spending time w/ him even w/ the kids--he can visit them alone
3) when he starts telling you about his girl adventures, tell him you aren't interested in hearing about it.
I don't know if either one of you has filed for divorce yet, or maybe you are hoping that you can get back together, but make it clear to him that he can't have it both ways--go out w/ other women and have you on the side. He's made his decision and he has to suffer the bad parts of it. Right now, it's all gravy for him--he gets to date and have you around waiting for him. When my ex left me after 13 yrs of marriage, I was devastated, but as soon as he moved out, I put it in my mind that we were never getting back together and I had to adjust to that reality, which was very difficult, but probably better in the long run as we never did get back together, in fact, both remarried, which worked out well for him, but not for me, but anyway, now it's been 12 yrs and we have a good relationship as parents.