The Name Game
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The Name Game
| Mon, 10-20-2008 - 11:11pm |
Hi I'm new here. Feeling the need to talk to others about this. Over a year ago my husband came home from a business trip and said he didn't want to be married anymore and that he never really loved me. This was after 17 years of marriage and 2 kids. It's taken me about a year to really get angry at him over this. I think the anger is a good thing, before I just didn't let it touch me. I do have a question for those with kids though. Did you change your name back to your maiden name after divorce? Part of me wants to leave it as his name until my kids are out of school so they don't have to go through that "why do you have a different name than your Mom" thing. I also hate the fact that I would have a different name from my kids, we're a team and have always been very close and they are closer to me than to soon-to-be-ex. I don't want to change my kids name either, I don't want to take yet another thing from the life that they knew. But at the same time I hate having his name after he's treated me like this and I just want to get away from being anything to do with him. What have others done and why and how did you decide? Thanks for any help you can give me.

Wow, your husband and mine sound like clones. I think part of it is mid-life crisis. But my husband always acts on impulses and regrets it later. Since we've split he's driven to Chicago multiple times to hang with his HS buddies. I really think he wants to recapture his youth. He pretty much sees the kids when it's convenient for him. I was numb at first and now I feel angry and betrayed.
Thank you very much for the advice!
I kept my married name, but it was more of a professional choice than to keep the same name as my kids.
Karen ~ wildlucky4me ~
They do sound like clones! I think it is part of a mid-life crisis too. And I know my husband wants to recapture his youth. He even said it to my face. He wants to live near the university in our town (which he is doing) because it within walking distance of bars and single young women - the things he missed out on by being married during college years. Whatever! I know he will have regrets and he has admitted that being away from the children is hard for him everyday, but his pride would never allow him to admit he wanted to come back home . . . even if he did. I have mixed thoughts on it, somedays I would give anything for him to come back, but in my head I know it would never be the same.
I feel for you.
I will have to talk to both of my lawyers to see if it is as easy in MI and in Spain.
Emom13