Could u spare some hugs? PLZ
Find a Conversation
Could u spare some hugs? PLZ
| Tue, 10-21-2008 - 12:25pm |
I posted this on another board but got no response - i am hoping someone could just tell me things will get better.
What is wrong with me?

I'm not the best person to respond to this, but hopefully other, wiser folks will chime in. First, I am sending you hugs: ((((((ready2live)))))). You sound like you need them, and you sure deserve them.
Do you have an attorney? If not, you should look into that right away. Your city or county may offer legal aid for people who can't afford attorneys. If not, you can contact attorneys' offices, explain your basic situation, and ask how much an initial consultation would cost. An initial consultation would help you get your basic questions answered, and an attorney can advise you on how to proceed from there--knowing that you have very little money.
I'm not a legal expert by any means. I can only tell you based on my experience that your situation is not hopeless. I remember when a child support issue came up well after my husband's divorce. He always paid child support and in a timely manner, so I don't remember what the issue was, but I remember his attorney saying that the first obligation my H had was to his child. If he couldn't feed himself, he still had to financially support his child. That's what we did, too, even when we were down to eating plain rice because we had no other food in the house. The court will at some point expect him to straighten up, fly right, and support your kids.
To have to deal with the legal and financial issues on top of the heartbreak would overwhelm almost anyone. And this guy sounds like he's really trying to mess with your mind.
As I said, I hope someone with more wisdom and experience will post here. In the meantime, know that you have someone cheering for you--me.
On top of the stress of splitting up, you have the extra financial stress, having to move from a house to an apt, losing your job, then on top of that, he doesn't even help out by watching the kids so you can get a break. No wonder you're at the breaking point. Is there any way you could go to a therapist to vent some of your problems? There are some places that charge by your income. If not that, a divorce support group? Do you have any family or friends who could watch the kids for you a couple of hours so you could get out?
As far as money, is he paying any child support at all? I would expect that he would have to file a financial statement in court to show what his income & expenses are, so that would show if he had any extra money or not. In a way he is right--he would have to have some money to pay rent, whether it's w/ the GF or someone else. They aren't going to make him homeless. But he should be paying something. If you think his hours have increased but he hasn't reported that, you would have to have some evidence. Do you think he's getting paid partly under the table? If so, that's hard to prove.
(((((((((((((((((((Hugs to you))))))))))))))) What is wrong with these men?
I am sending you hugs.
Emom13