Anyone here who asked for the divorce?
Find a Conversation
Anyone here who asked for the divorce?
| Tue, 10-21-2008 - 10:24pm |
I'm struggling - even though I'm the one who wants the divorce.
| Tue, 10-21-2008 - 10:24pm |
I'm struggling - even though I'm the one who wants the divorce.
I am new here (used to ahng out at Ivilliage, but not for years, and never in this folder!). But I am also the one who asked for the divorce and we are living under the same roof. Well, technically, I asked for a "trial separation."
I asked at the end of Sept... My moving date is 11/1. It has been very uncomfortable. We have both been civil to eachother, though. Probably in large part because I am letting him have everything he wants (house, car, etc).
I would figure out some plan to get out as quickly as possible. If you can't move out (which can be a bad thing legally, I know), then it might help to spend as much time as possible away from the house. I have also found it best to just stay out of each other's way as much as possible. If he is in the livingroom... I go in the kitchen.
Don't let him engage you in battles- if he starts berating you... walk away. Take a walk. Tell him you will talk to him when he is ready to talk respectfully. You can't control the actions of other's- just how you react.
I am of course, though, assuming you used the terms you did metaphorically- if he is actually hitting you- call the police!
I asked for the divorce.
Thanks. I need to hear that there is a light at the end of this tunnel because sometimes I think I see it... I know it is there but I can't see it through the tears. The martyrdom... yes that is what drives me crazy. Of course he is living and doing a post-doc in Costa Rica going to the beach every weekend while I try to sell the house, manage two 18 year old senior boys and try to finish my PhD. I am not suppose to feel resentment because I am the one who 'initiated' this. "This is what you wanted" I hear.
I forget that things will get better. Without family and with few friends I don't have someone asking everyday, "How are you doing?" and I feel so alone in all of this. It seems like whenever I am alone in the car -- that is when I know I am alone.. I cry.
Anyway. Didn't mean to get complain-ey.. It's just that you people are truly the only ones that seem to really 'get it.'